Being a good partner is about more than just love and attraction; it’s about respect, communication, and mutual support. If you want to build a healthy, lasting relationship, there are certain behaviours you should avoid. These are the 17 things you should never do if you want to be the best partner.
Take Your Partner for Granted
Reader’s Digest reveals that being taken for granted “usually starts out gradually, so it’s not easy to spot at first,” especially when you’ve been together for a while; however, consistently overlooking your partner’s efforts and contributions can lead to resentment and feelings of unappreciation. Make a point to acknowledge and thank your partner for the big and small things they do.
Ignore Communication
We all know that communication is the backbone of any relationship, so ignoring or avoiding important conversations can create misunderstandings and emotional distance. Be open and honest with your partner about your thoughts and feelings, and encourage them to do the same.
Dismiss Their Feelings
Everyone’s feelings are valid, even if you don’t always understand or agree with them. Dismissing your partner’s emotions can make them feel unheard and unsupported, so instead, validate their feelings and try to empathise with their experiences, as this shows respect.
Hold Grudges
Holding onto past grievances can poison your relationship over time, therefore it’s crucial to address issues as they arise and work towards forgiveness. Holding grudges can create a toxic environment where resentment festers, so you should practise letting go of past hurts and focusing on moving forward together.
Be Dishonest
Trust is the foundation of a strong relationship, and dishonesty can quickly erode that trust; whether it’s lying about big things or small, dishonesty can lead to a breakdown in communication and intimacy. Strive for honesty in all your interactions, and if you make a mistake, own up to it and work on making things right.
Neglect Your Partner’s Needs
Every person has different needs in a relationship, and it’s important to be attentive to your partner’s. Neglecting their needs can create feelings of neglect and loneliness, so make an effort to understand what makes your partner feel loved and valued—and strive to meet those needs whenever possible.
Avoid Compromise
Relationships require give and take, after all, so avoiding compromise can lead to power struggles and dissatisfaction. Be willing to meet your partner halfway and find solutions that work for both of you; compromise isn’t about giving up your own needs but rather finding a balance.
Disrespect Boundaries
What’s vital for a healthy relationship is respecting boundaries, because disregarding your partner’s boundaries can make them feel uncomfortable and unsafe. Have open discussions about each other’s boundaries and make a conscious effort to respect them so that you both feel secure.
Criticise Constantly
Constructive criticism can be helpful, but constant criticism can be damaging. It can chip away at your partner’s self-esteem and create a negative atmosphere, when you should instead focus on uplifting and encouraging your partner rather than tearing them down.
Be Self-Centred
A relationship involves two people, and being overly self-centred can create an imbalance, so you’ll want to make sure you’re considering your partner’s needs and desires as much as your own. Practise empathy and put yourself in their shoes, showing that you value their happiness.
Break Promises
Keeping your word is vital in maintaining trust, so breaking promises, even small ones, can make your partner feel like they can’t rely on you. Be mindful of the commitments you make and strive to follow through, and if circumstances change and you can’t keep a promise, explain honestly why.
Compare Your Partner to Others
If you’re comparing your partner to others, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment; everyone has unique qualities that make them special, so focus on appreciating your partner for who they are rather than wishing they were different. Celebrate their strengths and work together on any areas that need improvement.
Be Emotionally Unavailable
Emotional availability is key to intimacy and connection, therefore being emotionally unavailable can create a barrier between you and your partner. Be present and engaged in your relationship and make time to share your feelings, encouraging your partner to do the same.
Keep Score
If you want to create a competitive and unhealthy dynamic, keeping score is the way to do that. Relationships aren’t about tallying up contributions but rather supporting each other as a team, so alternatively focus on working together towards common goals—and appreciating each other’s efforts along the way.
Make Everything About You
While it’s important to share your thoughts and feelings, making everything about you can overshadow your partner’s experiences when you should be making space for their stories, achievements, and challenges too. Show genuine interest in their life and celebrate their successes; a balanced relationship values both partners’ voices equally.
Be Inflexible
Flexibility is important in navigating the ups and downs of a relationship. Being rigid and unwilling to adapt can create unnecessary tension, so be open to change and willing to adjust your plans and expectations when needed, because flexibility shows that you’re committed to working through things.
Ignore the Little Things
One last thing you should never do is ignore small gestures of love and appreciation, as the little things often matter the most in a relationship. Take time to notice and reciprocate the little things your partner does, whether it’s a kind word, a thoughtful gesture, or a shared moment.