When stepping into leadership roles, we may not want to seem intimidating to others. This can make people hesitant to approach you and create challenges in building strong relationships. So, if you’re aiming to appear more approachable, here are 19 intimidating habits you should steer clear of.
Being Overly Direct
The Expert Editor writes, “Being direct can save lives in the high-stakes world of an operating theater, on a construction site, or in a gym where people can easily get hurt. But in social situations, most people appreciate at least a little bit of indirectness.” Try to balance honesty with diplomacy to improve social interactions.
Your Criticism Isn’t Constructive
Your feedback needs to be constructive. You can’t just criticize a person without fully explaining where they went wrong and what they can do to improve their mistake. This is especially important if you’re in a leadership role, as people need to respect you and be able to grow from any constructive criticism.
Using Aggressive Gestures
Aggressive gestures, such as pointing fingers or slamming your hands on the table, can make you appear intimidating. To help combat this, Global English Editing writes, “Becoming aware of these gestures and moderating them can go a long way in making you seem less intimidating.”
Not Smiling Enough
A smile is a universal sign of friendliness, so not doing enough of this can make people assume the complete opposite. If you forget to smile, it can make you appear unapproachable. Try to be aware of how much you’re smiling, and if you don’t think it’s enough, then try to work on this, as it will make you less intimidating.
Speaking in a Loud Voice
HR Future writes, “Loud voices are, by their nature, intimidating and intended to intimidate.” Even if your voice is naturally loud, it can still be intimidating and come across as confrontational. You can try to modulate the volume of your voice, and this will enable you to come across as friendlier.
Keeping a Stern Expression
It can be a put-off for others if you have a constant stern expression on your face. It can cause others to be hesitant to approach you. Being aware of your stern expression means you can put effort into trying to maintain a neutral face, making you appear friendlier.
Disliking Small Talk
Avoiding small talk can make you appear standoffish. Small talk is an important part of socializing and comes in particularly handy in the workplace or if you’ve just met someone and don’t have a lot to talk to them about. Engaging in small talk will make people feel more at ease.
Not Putting Up with Complaining
If you don’t put up with complaining, then some may consider you to be unsympathetic. For example, Learning Mind writes, “An intimidating person won’t waste their time listening to chronic complainers, which also seems impatient and rude.” Even just listening to a small number of complaints can make you appear more supportive.
Not Trying to Please People
Refusing to please people means you can come across as being more dominant. To avoid intimidating people, you need to find a balance between self-assurance and being accommodating to the needs of others. Showing consideration for other people is one of the best ways to make them feel comfortable.
Knowing Exactly What You Want
Knowing what you want can be intimidating for those who don’t. Try to be flexible and open to other people who don’t know what they want, and offer them support. Showing understanding and patience to others who are indecisive is a great way to not appear intimidating.
Fidgeting
Fidgeting may not be something that you can easily notice, but it gives off signals that you aren’t relaxed, and this can cause unease in social situations. Try to minimize fidgeting while creating comfortable interactions. Instead, you can reflect your calmness through controlled physical movements.
Stepping Back Physically
Physically distancing yourself from a person can cause them to feel intimidated. Try to maintain a comfortable distance between you and the other person to allow you both to have a comfortable conversation. Make sure you’re completely aware of your body language in social settings, and try to adjust it if you feel yourself stepping back.
Being Unsupportive
An intimidating habit can be showing that you aren’t supportive. It’s important to support others, and this is backed up by Pod, which writes, “Being a supportive friend or family member is important because everyone needs support to conquer challenges and achieve their dreams.” You should always try to actively help others.
Not Asking for Help
If you don’t ask others for help, it’s going to make them less willing to ask you for help. You can make yourself appear less intimidating by offering to help others when you think they need it. It shows that you’re approachable and reassures people that the next time they need help, they can come to you.
You Don’t Adapt to Situations
If you find it difficult to adapt your behavior depending on the social situation, then it can show that you’re an intimidating person. To try and kick this habit, you can mirror how other people are acting in certain social situations. Becoming flexible in your interaction style can reduce intimidation.
You Ignore Cultural Differences
To appear less intimidating, you need to be aware of how cultural differences can influence perceptions. Make sure you adapt your communication to align with diverse cultural expectations. Doing this will show that you’re able to respect and recognize different cultures, giving you an understanding of how to form your interactions.
Being Unreliable
You may come across as intimidating if you can’t stick to your word. That could mean not meeting someone when you said you would, being late, or not pulling through when a friend needs you. This can easily be changed, and once it has, people will see you as being more approachable.
Frankness
Harvard Business Review writes, “If you come across too harshly, you can end up doing more harm than good, and irrevocably damage your relationships and the opportunity for positive collaboration.” Honesty can be intimidating, which is why it’s best to balance it with empathy and understanding.
Not Being Open-Minded
You can be seen as intimidating if you aren’t open to new ideas. It’s important to encourage a culture of sharing and exploring different viewpoints, especially in the workplace. Always show a willingness to consider and discuss different viewpoints. It’ll not only make people feel more comfortable around you, but it may also allow you to grow as a person.