Gaslighting can seriously harm relationships by undermining trust and causing your partner to doubt themselves. It’s a form of manipulation that often appears in conversations through specific phrases, and here are a few of these gaslighting phrases that can be particularly damaging to your relationship.
“You’re Imagining Things”
If your partner is certain that something has happened and you make them feel as if they are imagining it, it can make them question their own judgment. As a result, they may not trust you as they know that you will dismiss their experiences.
“Everyone Agrees With Me”
It is common for a person to feel lonely and isolated if they are being gaslit within a relationship. If you tell them that everyone agrees with you, it could make them feel all alone in the world. Psychology Today highlights that gaslighting can truly create emotional upheaval and ignite negative energy.
“You’re Being Paranoid”
Your partner may begin to believe that they are a bad person if you tell them they are paranoid. They may start to distance themselves from you as they don’t want to come across as controlling or manipulative even when they are completely right in what they are saying.
“You’re Overreacting”
Telling your partner they are overreacting can be harmful as you are undermining their emotions and experiences, making your partner question their reality. According to CNBC, by accusing you of being dramatic, the gaslighter is attempting to dismiss your concerns as irrational and unfounded.
“You’re Being Too Sensitive”
As human beings, we are emotional creatures and there are times when we need to let it all out. Implying that your partner is too sensitive can make them feel that their emotional response is unjustified and could make them never want to open up to you again.
“Nobody Else Would Put Up With You”
Isolation and gaslighting go hand in hand as Forbes notes that many gaslighters make efforts to isolate victims from friends, family and other support networks. Even if it is not physical isolation, suggesting that they can only rely on you makes them feel dependent on you.
“It Was Just a Joke”
Downplaying events or things you have said as a joke makes your partner feel irrational or crazy. Often, gaslighters will disguise harmful or offensive comments as humor to get under their partner’s skin, which can lead to feelings of confusion or stress on their part.
“You’re Remembering It Wrong”
Picking holes in your partner’s memory will make them lose trust and respect for you. It shows that you are willing to accuse them of having a false recollection of events and that you want to rewrite history to benefit yourself, which is incredibly narcissistic.
“Why Are You So Difficult?”
Calling your partner difficult may be justifiable if they are constantly creating tension in the relationship on purpose. However, in instances where this isn’t applicable, you are shaming them for standing up for themselves or expressing their needs which can make them feel worthless.
“Stop Being So Dramatic”
When this is said to women in particular, it can be extremely damaging, especially because females are often stereotyped as dramatic. It makes your partner feel as if they are being unreasonable and can lead to them withdrawing from you entirely because they are embarrassed.
“You’re Lucky I’m With You”
Saying to your partner that they are lucky to be with you implies that they aren’t worthy of anyone else’s attention. Instead of instilling confidence into your partner, you are constantly chipping away at their self-esteem until they become completely reliant on your validation.
“You’re Too Emotional”
Crying and getting upset is a natural part of life, which is why it can be confusing for someone to be told they are emotional when they are simply opening up to their partner. By calling them emotional, you are criticizing them for having natural emotional responses.
“I Was Only Trying to Help”
Masking control as help can be extremely detrimental for your relationship as your partner can begin to feel guilty or ungrateful for refusing your assistance. It can lead to a toxic cycle whereby your partner refuses to voice their opinion for fear of your wrath.
“You Always Ruin Everything”
Commenting on your partner’s character in an intensely negative way can inadvertently shift the blame to them for problems or conflicts in the relationship. They may feel worthless or inadequate, internalizing your words and becoming less confident and happy in themselves as a result.
“I Never Said That”
Pretending that you haven’t said something when you have can make your partner feel doubtful about their own sanity. Business Insider reveals that gaslighting often causes the victim to doubt themselves as they fail to equate their memory with what you are saying happened.
“You’re So Insecure”
Making a mistake and telling your partner that they are insecure for bringing it up is a classic gaslighting technique. Instead of taking accountability for your actions, you shift the focus onto their insecurities, which can make them feel that they are unreasonable.
“If You Loved Me, You Would…”
Loving someone and manipulating someone are two different things, which is why this phrase is only used by partners who gaslight people. This pressures your partner into adhering to your demands by creating a false sense of love, guilt tripping them into doing whatever you ask.