Envy or jealousy are strongly frowned upon, and this explains why many of our own friends may harbor these feeling and choose to hide them. Thankfully, there are a few ways to spot a jealous friend, and in this article, we share the signs to look out for in your platonic relationships.
Unnecessary Competition
With jealous friends, even casual activities or achievements become a battleground for proving superiority. They consistently try to top your stories or achievements with their own, often exaggerating details. You might even catch them lying about their life just to outshine you.
Overreaction to Your Success
Jealous friends show an unreasonable level of disappointment or disapproval at your successes. Their occasional slips of jealousy become more frequent, revealing their true feelings. When they give you congratulations, they are laced with sarcasm or backhanded remarks that undermine your achievement.
Increased Gossiping
When someone talks about you behind your back, it can make you feel exposed and misunderstood. They tell stories that aren’t true or share your secrets without asking. This can lead to others getting the wrong idea about you. It’s like your life is on display for everyone to see, and not in a good way.
Sudden Lack of Support
If it seems like every time you share good news, their enthusiasm is nowhere to be found, you might have a jealous friend on your hands. You’ll notice that the friend who used to cheer you on suddenly becomes distant or silent when you achieve something.
Excessive Criticism
Instead of lifting you up, a jealous friend will focus on pointing out where you fall short. They will frequently highlight your mistakes or flaws, often without a constructive reason. If you are struggling with this, Greatist has a few tips on how to handle it.
Imitation Behaviors
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but in this case, it will feel more like a competition. You might notice your friend start to mimic your fashion, hobbies, or even speech patterns closely. They usually do this to gain the same recognition or praise from others.
Withholding Information
Imagine you’re trying to solve a puzzle, but someone keeps hiding the pieces you need. That’s what it feels like when a friend doesn’t tell you things that could help you. They become mysterious about their own lives and don’t give straight answers when you ask for advice.
Demanding Constant Attention
Some friends need to be the star of the show all the time. They want to lead every conversation and get upset if someone else takes the stage. It can be overwhelming because their need for attention takes up all the space, leaving you feeling trapped and unable to share your time with others.
Frequent Comparison
It’s natural to compare yourself to others, but there is a limit. A jealous friend will constantly measure their life and achievements against yours and will never be satisfied with their own progress.
Emotional Manipulation
Sometimes, friends make you feel bad for being happy or having other friends. They act like victims, making you feel sorry for them and guilty for your own happiness. Such people have a knack for turning situations around to make you feel guilty for things you shouldn’t.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior
You might notice your friend’s jokes and comments have taken on a biting edge, leaving you unsure of what they mean. Making snide remarks or jokes at your expense is not humor and should not be tolerated. The University of Dayton recommends pausing the conversation and giving them a chance to take back what they said instead of letting it pass.
Sabotaging Your Efforts
Just when you’re about to take a step forward, it feels like someone’s always pulling the rug out from under you. This person actively meddles in your plans, sowing seeds of doubt in your mind and among your friends. This resistance often comes from an unexpected source, making it even harder to understand.
Reluctance to Share Joy
Jealous people find reasons to skip your celebratory moments, and when they do acknowledge your achievements, they make them seem smaller than they are. Your victories, instead of being moments of shared happiness, become solo achievements.
Displaying Insecurity
This friend often talks down about themselves, hoping you’ll tell them they’re wrong and that they’re actually great. They need to hear nice things about themselves a lot for validation. Sometimes, they even say they wish they had what you have, which is the literal definition of jealousy.
Creating Distance
If you find that you are hanging out less and not talking as much, it might be a sign that your friendship is fading. You will feel like their texts and calls get less frequent and feel shallow. This is a good thing: go out and make new friends who only want what is best for you.
Questioning Your Decisions
A bad friend questions every decision you make, making you second-guess yourself. Author Aaron Battley via LinkedIn recommends staying firm in your decisions and only thinking of people’s advice as opinions, which is what they are.
Showing Resentment
When things go well for you, your jealous friend will start acting sour. They say mean things about what you’re doing or the choices you’ve made, especially if you’re doing better than before. If you try to help them, they won’t take it, probably because they don’t want to look like they need help from you.
Seeking to Isolate You
A scheming friend might try to shake your trust in other friends, hinting that they aren’t really good for you. They insist on taking up all your time, making it hard for you to see anyone else. They’ll be determined to be your only close ally, slowly pulling you away from your social circle.