More people are familiar with the term “gaslighting.” But being a subtle form of emotional manipulation, recognizing it in real life can be challenging, especially in abusive relationships. To help, here are some common gaslighting phrases that can harm relationships, whether you’re experiencing them or unintentionally using them.
“I Never Said That”
If you’ve ever told someone “I never said that,” you may have made the other person question their own memory and sanity, especially if you know you actually did say the thing in question. You should always own up to your words and actions to build trust with your partner. Honesty is fundamental in relationships, and acknowledging mistakes strengthens the bond between partners.
“It’s All in Your Head”
Telling someone their feelings are just in their head can be really hurtful. It dismisses their reality and can cause a lot of emotional pain. Instead, try validating their experiences and addressing their concerns respectfully. It’s a lot more constructive and helps build a deeper connection that’ll make the relationship much healthier in the long run.
“You’re Imagining Things”
As most people know, telling someone they’re imagining things can really damage their confidence in their own beliefs and perspectives. This kind of expression can also create a lot of confusion and self-doubt. Having open and honest conversations helps keep things transparent and trustworthy, making both partners feel secure and understood.
“You’re Overreacting”
It goes without saying that telling someone they’re overreacting invalidates their feelings and experiences. According to CNBC, this is why gaslighters use this phrase so often. It can easily make the other person feel misunderstood and dismissed, even if that’s not what you meant to convey. Instead, you should acknowledge their perspective and emotions to show that you understand and care about them.
“You’re Being Too Sensitive”
Comments about being too sensitive can really undermine someone’s natural emotional response, suggesting their feelings are unjustified or over the top. This can damage trust and communication between the two of you, making it harder for them to open up in the future.
“You’re Crazy”
Calling someone crazy is a clear form of emotional abuse that can definitely mess with their mental health and make them doubt their reality, sometimes leaving long-lasting scars that are hard to heal. Being kind and respectful to your partner, especially when you disagree, is key for a healthy relationship and helps create a supportive atmosphere.
“You’re Just Paranoid”
Contrary to what some folks think, calling someone paranoid can be extremely harmful, making them doubt their real concerns and fears. Everyone’s feelings matter and deserve to be acknowledged, and tackling issues calmly and with empathy helps build a more understanding and supportive relationship, making sure both partners feel heard.
“That Never Happened”
When you make someone doubt past events, it can really mess with their trust. Claiming “that never happened” is a sneaky way to manipulate and twist reality. Instead, being honest and open about what’s happened builds a stronger, more honest relationship, laying down solid trust and respect.
“Stop Being So Dramatic”
It might sound odd, but telling someone they’re being dramatic actually trivializes their feelings and experiences. This basically tells them that you think their emotions don’t matter. By validating their emotions, even if they seem over the top, you create a supportive, empathetic space where both of you feel valued and respected.
“You’re Making a Big Deal Out of Nothing”
Brushing off concerns by saying “you’re making a big deal out of nothing” can make someone feel belittled and ignored. Remember, what might seem small to you could be huge to them. Respecting each other’s perspectives is crucial for a healthy, harmonious relationship.
“I Was Just Joking”
Using humor as a shield for hurtful comments can be really harmful. Saying “I was just joking” after something offensive invalidates the other person’s feelings. A sincere apology and steering clear of such comments in the future is a much better way to keep trust and respect intact.
“You’re So Insecure”
We all get a little insecure sometimes, so it’s wrong to make people feel ashamed of that. Pointing out someone’s insecurities can be really hurtful and damaging to their self-esteem. It’s important to support and uplift your partner, not bring them down.
“You’re Too Emotional”
Criticizing someone for being too emotional can make their feelings seem invalid. Emotions are a natural and important part of being human. Understanding and respecting each other’s emotional expressions is key to a healthy and balanced relationship, making sure both partners feel heard and understood.
“You Need to Calm Down”
It goes without saying that telling someone to calm down can be dismissive and patronizing. This can escalate the situation rather than resolve it. Offering support and understanding their perspective can help de-escalate tension and promote a more peaceful resolution.
“You’re Overthinking It”
Sure, it’s normal to overthink things sometimes and it can be helpful to recognize that. But when it comes to deep emotions and concerns, telling someone they’re overthinking things can make them feel like their thoughts don’t matter. Instead, encourage open dialogue and take their concerns seriously. This will make it clear that you value their perspective, helping to form a more trusting and respectful relationship.
“You’re Always So Negative”
Calling someone negative can hurt their feelings and make them feel misunderstood. Everyone has their down moments. Address these feelings constructively by offering support and understanding. This helps create a more positive and supportive relationship dynamic.
“You Always Twist Things”
It can be tempting to tell someone they’re twisting your words sometimes, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Accusing someone of always twisting things can make them doubt their own perspective and intentions. Instead, focus on having open and honest discussions by aiming to understand each other’s viewpoints rather than pointing fingers.
“You’re the Only One Who Thinks That”
It’s important to recognize and respect individual opinions, and telling someone they’re the only one who thinks a certain way can make them feel like you don’t. Encouraging a variety of thoughts and feelings strengthens the relationship and builds mutual respect.
“You’re Just Trying to Start a Fight”
Accusing someone of trying to start a fight can invalidate their real concerns. This suggests their issues aren’t important and they’re just being confrontational. Address issues with empathy and a willingness to listen to prevent conflict and build a stronger bond.