When you’re in a relationship, there are rules many claim you need to follow. But in this day and age, many of these need to go out the window when you turn 50, as relationships become a little simpler without them. Here are some of these relationship rules you need to know about.
Financial Independence Isn’t Important
There’s no denying that in your 50s, financial stability and independence are important for both partners and relying on one person for financial support can lead to imbalances and dependency issues. So, you should try to have your own financial resources, ensuring security and equality in the relationship and allowing both partners to feel empowered and respected.
Public Displays of Affection Are Necessary
When we were younger, it seemed that if you were showing public displays of affection, you weren’t really together. That was just nonsense; not everyone feels comfortable with public displays of affection, and that’s perfectly fine. Relationships should respect each person’s comfort levels, so you can throw that rule out of the window, too.
Shared Interests Are a Must
While it’s true that shared interests can be bonding, they are not essential for a successful relationship. Differences can bring excitement and new perspectives, and let’s be real–in your 50s, you’re going to have differences. So, embrace each other’s unique interests, leading to personal growth and a richer, more dynamic partnership where each person learns from the other.
Always Needing to Be Together
Individual space and time are crucial for personal growth and happiness, so if you spent every waking moment with your partner when you were younger, that’s really not necessary in your 50s. In fact, Now and Me advises that spending time apart allows you to pursue personal interests and hobbies, which enriches your life and your relationship.
The Man Should Always Make the First Move
Gender norms from the past don’t apply today, and that includes the rule that the man should always make the first move. Confidence and interest are attractive traits regardless of who shows them first, so if you’re a woman and in your 50s, feel free to take the initiative to show that you are invested and interested in a man.
Never Go to Bed Angry
Back in the day, everyone used to say you should never go to bed angry, but in our older age, we realize that this isn’t really true. In reality, resolving conflicts before bedtime can be stressful, rushed, and unproductive, so it’s often best to just take a break and sleep on it, providing you with a clearer perspective in the morning.
Stay Together for the Sake of the Children
Children benefit from seeing their parents happy, but that’s the case whether they are together or apart. Staying in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the children can create a negative environment for them, which is counterproductive. We know that in our 50s, so don’t feel the need to stay together for the kids.
One Person Should Handle All Household Chores
Another antiquated relationship rule that you can ignore in your 50s is that one person, usually the woman, should handle all household responsibilities. That was just sexist and unfair; household chores should be shared and balanced. So, discuss and divide tasks fairly instead, ensuring that both partners contribute equally to maintaining the home.
Avoid Discussing Past Relationships
In our youth, we used to avoid discussing past relationships, but by the time you’re in your 50s, sharing past experiences should be normalized. It helps to bring understanding and trust into the relationship, and ignoring this might leave important issues unaddressed. So, try to be open about your history, helping your partner understand you better and allowing both of you to build a stronger, more honest connection.
You Must Share Everything
Another outdated relationship rule you don’t need in relationships after 50 is sharing everything with each other. Maintaining some level of privacy is healthy, so you really don’t need to do this. Respecting each other’s boundaries and personal space allows for a sense of individuality, which strengthens the relationship and prevents feelings of suffocation or loss of self.
Arguments Are a Sign of Trouble
Disagreements are a normal part of any relationship–that’s just life–so 50 is far too old to be seeing every argument as a sign of trouble. Disputes provide opportunities to address issues and grow together, as long as they stay constructive, with both partners listening and expressing themselves respectfully.
Your Partner Should Complete You
People used to say that your partner should complete you, but in reality, healthy relationships involve two complete individuals. Relying on a partner to fill gaps in your own identity can lead to dependency and dissatisfaction. Instead, focus on being whole and happy as individuals, which will enhance your connection and create a more fulfilling partnership.
Love at First Sight Is Essential
Gone are the days when we 50-year-olds believed in love at first sight. From experience, we’ve learned that love often grows over time rather than striking instantly. Building a deep, meaningful connection involves getting to know each other, sharing experiences, and developing trust. Meanwhile, rushing into relationships based on initial attraction can overlook important aspects that contribute to lasting love.
You Should Have Children to Be Complete
Always remember that deciding whether or not to have children is a personal choice. A fulfilling relationship does not require having children, despite how we used to believe this back in the day. Older couples can find happiness and fulfillment in many ways, such as through shared interests, adventures, and mutual support, without the societal pressure to start a family.
Your Partner Should Be Your Best Friend
While it’s great if your partner is your best friend, it’s not a requirement. Maintaining friendships outside the relationship provides diverse emotional support, so relying solely on your partner for all emotional needs can be overwhelming. It’s a great idea to have other friends, ensuring a balanced support system, which is particularly important in your 50s.
Marriage Is the Ultimate Goal
Not everyone needs to get married to have a committed and fulfilling relationship. Just like having kids, marriage is a personal choice and not a measure of relationship success. Couples can choose different forms of commitment that suit their unique needs and desires without feeling pressured to conform to societal expectations.
Men Should Always Be the Providers
If you’re in a relationship at 50 and still believe that men should always be the providers, it’s time for your attitude to change. Both partners should contribute in ways that make sense for their relationship, and financial and emotional contributions should be balanced based on individual strengths and circumstances, ensuring that both partners feel valued and supported.
You Should Always Compromise
While compromise is important in any relationship, it should not come at the expense of your own happiness and values. Finding a middle ground is essential, but maintaining your own identity and priorities is equally important. After all, your 50s are some of the best years in your life, so you shouldn’t spend them being unsatisfied.
Pretending to Be Happy Is Necessary
Above all, it’s nonsense that keeping up appearances is necessary when you’re in a relationship in your 50s. Pretending to be happy for the sake of others is detrimental because true authenticity is crucial for genuine happiness. Maintaining a facade can lead to internal stress and dissatisfaction, so just focus on being true to yourself and your partner.