Nobody enjoys being around narcissists. And the sad thing here is that they can be tough to recognize, especially considering all the lies they tell. To help you avoid them, here are some clues that can help you point out when you’re interacting with one.
Need for Excessive Admiration
Another way to avoid a narcissist is if you notice someone craving admiration and validation in excess. They rely heavily on external praise to maintain their fragile self-esteem, and when they don’t get this, they feel overlooked or underappreciated, leading to them becoming frustrated, angry, or isolated.
Sense of Entitlement
If you’re interacting with a narcissist, expect them to hold a strong sense of entitlement. They’re never willing to work and will expect special treatment and forgiveness when they’ve acted terribly. Any deviation from this is perceived as a personal attack, yet they’ll never recognize how entitled this is.
Exploitative Behavior
Unfortunately, narcissists are known for exploiting people without remorse and using others for personal gain. They view relationships as transactions, seeing others as tools to achieve their goals. It’s truly awful behavior that they are not self-aware of, once again leading to resentment among those they interact with.
Preoccupation with Fantasies of Success
Majoy Chawla, via LinkedIn, notes that narcissists “are driven by grandiose fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, or ideal love,” leading them to lose touch with reality. Although such dreams are unrealistic, they believe these visions set them apart. Sadly, it serves as a coping mechanism for their underlying insecurities.
Excessive Sense of Self-Importance
One of the most classic signs of narcissism is when someone has an exaggerated sense of self-importance, constantly boasting about their achievements and talking about themselves highly. They expect everyone to recognize how superior they are, even though they haven’t done anything exceptional to justify this.
Hanging Around High-Status People
Considering that they are convinced they are special, narcissists delude themselves into believing that only other ‘exceptional’ people can truly understand them. They will actively seek out high-status individuals or exclusive groups, ignoring anyone and putting down anyone who they consider to be lower than them.
Lack of Empathy
One of the most famous traits of a narcissist is that they are unable to show empathy, understand, or even care about others’ feelings. It’s an emotional disconnect that will inevitably lead to one-sided relationships dominated by their desires. Naturally, this leaves little room for mutual understanding or support.
Envy of Others
Due to their entitlement, narcissists are famously envious, believing that they are entitled to what other people have. This makes them bitter and competitive when they see someone else doing well in life, resenting their successes, and feeling threatened by achievements that outshine their own.
Arrogant Behavior
Another clue that you’re interacting with a narcissist is arrogance. This is a natural byproduct of their false sense of superiority, leading them to look down on other people that they deem less important. It’s not pleasant to witness, but their sheer lack of self-awareness prevents them from noticing it.
Difficulty Maintaining Relationships
Healthy relationships do not come easily for narcissists; in fact, they’re rare. Their self-centered behavior, complete lack of empathy, and exploitative tendencies lead to them destroying relationships with friends, family, and colleagues. Sadly, this isolation only makes their narcissistic tendencies worse, forming a vicious cycle.
Manipulative Tactics
One of the most toxic traits of a narcissist is how they use manipulative tactics to control and influence others, all to serve their own interests. They might employ guilt, flattery, gaslighting, or deception to get their way, and as long as they do, they will show no remorse.
Inability to Handle Criticism
If you offer someone criticism and immediately get shot down, you might be dealing with a narcissist. They react incredibly defensively or sometimes even aggressively when faced with negative feedback. Ultimately, their fragile self-esteem cannot tolerate any perceived attack, leading to outbursts or attempts to discredit the criticism.
Constant Need for Attention
Narcissists thrive on constant attention, and they’ll do whatever it takes to get it. They’ll dominate conversations, tell exaggerated stories, and even give fake compliments to get recognition. They’ll feel completely uncomfortable when they’re not the center of attention, something that is usually quite easy to see.
Lack of Accountability
When a narcissist inevitably upsets you, don’t expect an apology. They almost never take responsibility for their actions unless they benefit them, preferring to blame others whenever possible. Sadly, this lack of accountability leads to a vicious cycle in which they can never recognize their mistakes and learn from them.
Obsession with Appearance
It’s probably not surprising to learn that narcissists are often obsessed with appearance. They invest significant time and resources in maintaining an image of perfection, but this isn’t just about physical appearance. Their preoccupation with appearance extends to include status symbols and achievements that reinforce their desired image.
Superficial Charm
It’s easy to mistake a narcissist for a genuinely charming person, as they often display excessive superficial charm and charisma. However, this charm is actually a façade used to attract and manipulate others. The charm fades once their true nature is revealed, leaving behind a trail of disillusioned acquaintances.
Emotional Insecurity
Despite their outward confidence, narcissists are often deeply insecure, which sits at the root of their narcissistic tendencies. They mask their insecurities with arrogance and a false sense of self-confidence, fearing the exposure of their true, vulnerable selves. As with other traits, this, sadly, only contributes to their problem further.
Excessive Sensitivity to Rejection
Nobody likes to be rejected, but narcissists absolutely hate it. They’re highly sensitive to rejection and will react strongly to even the slightest exclusion. Their fragile egos simply cannot handle it, leading to overreactions that may include anger, withdrawal, or completely isolating themselves.
Need to Control Others
While it’s true that narcissists are manipulative, their immense desire for control isn’t always masked. Often, they demonstrate classic traits of being a control freak, showing no shame in ordering around everyone in their presence. It’s only when they realize that this doesn’t work that they resort to subtler manipulations.
Unrealistic Expectations
Considering their entitlement and tendencies to control, narcissists often project their unrealistic expectations onto other people. They demand perfection at all times, expecting those around them to meet their high standards without fail. When things don’t go their way, they break down, leaving very little room for compromise.