There’s no denying that first dates can be nerve-wracking. However, if you want a follow-up date, making the right impression will be crucial. Thankfully, as long as men avoid certain mistakes, they can maximize their chances of a date going smoothly, and here are some of these mistakes to look out for.
Being Late
Punctuality reflects respect and consideration, so arriving late for a first date is a serious red flag, setting a negative tone that can be interpreted as a lack of seriousness or interest. Aim to arrive on time, or better yet, a few minutes early to demonstrate reliability–at least if you have any hope of continuing to get to know your date.
Talking About Exes
It’s never a good idea to bring up past relationships during your date, which can make them feel uncomfortable and create unnecessary tension. Focusing on exes suggests that you might not be over them, so keep the conversation light and forward-looking to avoid any awkwardness or misunderstandings.
Not Asking Questions
One of the easiest ways to prevent a date from becoming one-sided is to ask your date questions, showing curiosity about their life, interests, and opinions. This will demonstrate that you value their perspective and are interested in getting to know them better, which sets the stage nicely for future dates.
Talking Too Much About Themselves
Dates are an opportunity for both parties to learn about each other, so as the New York Times shares, oversharing and talking too much about yourself is a big mistake. Your date doesn’t want to hear stories about all your personal achievements and experiences, which will come across as self-centered. Instead, keep the dialogue balanced, showing genuine interest in the other person’s life and opinions.
Over-Complimenting
Everyone knows that being kind on a date is important, but many men take this too far, complimenting their date excessively. You don’t want to do this because it may make your compliments seem insincere. Genuine compliments are definitely appreciated, but bombarding someone with constant praise can feel overwhelming and artificial, so take it easy.
Checking Your Phone Frequently
When you sit down with a date, one of the rudest things you could possibly do is keep looking at your phone, otherwise known as “phubbing,” which signals disinterest and distraction. It demonstrates a complete lack of respect for your date’s time and attention, so if you can’t resist the urge, don’t expect to be asked back for a second date.
Dressing Inappropriately
First impressions matter, so your attire plays a significant role during your first date. If you dress too casually or too formally, you could send the wrong message. To find a balance, aim for a neat, presentable look that matches the venue and occasion, showing that you put thought into the date but didn’t go overboard.
Being Too Forward
Some men think that the sooner they show flirtatious behavior, the more likely a date will succeed, but that couldn’t be more wrong. In fact, this will make them feel uncomfortable and may come off as disrespectful. It’s important to gauge their comfort level and respect personal boundaries, and when in doubt, restrict flirting to the second date as soon as possible.
Neglecting Personal Hygiene
It should go without saying that your personal hygiene and grooming should be addressed before you turn up to date, ensuring you make a positive first impression. Neglecting basic hygiene can be a major turn-off, as you may smell and look gross. So, ensure you are well-groomed, showered, and fresh-smelling and your chances of getting a follow-up date will be far higher.
Not Listening
Another first-date error that many men make is failing to listen, which can make your date feel undervalued and unheard. Active listening involves paying full attention, nodding, and responding thoughtfully, demonstrating that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say.
Bragging
Don’t start boasting about your financial status, achievements, or social status during a first date; this would be incredibly off-putting. Humility is much more attractive and creates a more genuine connection, so instead of bragging, consider sharing your experiences modestly and allow your date to share theirs as well.
Discussing Controversial Topics
The quickest way to ruin an otherwise perfect date is to bring up sensitive subjects, such as politics or religion, which can rapidly escalate and lead to disagreements and discomfort. Just avoid these topics; it really is that simple. Keep the conversation light and neutral, preventing you from ruining the mood.
Drinking Too Much
If you’re heading to a bar to meet your date, be careful with how much you drink. There’s no denying that alcohol can help ease nerves, but overindulging can lead to poor judgment and behavior. Keep your alcohol consumption low to ensure you stay composed and respectful, as being in control will always make a better impression.
Interrupting
During a first date, it’s a big mistake to interrupt your date while they are speaking, which is rude and disruptive, even in everyday life. It shows a lack of respect for their thoughts and opinions, so avoid doing it at all, even by accident, as they may think that you are unable to listen correctly and have no patience.
Talking About Money
If you discuss things such as finances, salaries, or expenses during your first date, you’ll quickly make the conversation awkward. It might give the impression that you’re materialistic, so just focus on getting to know each other without delving into financial matters. It’s just not necessary.
Not Showing Interest
For some strange reason, some men show a complete lack of enthusiasm during dates, acting almost as if they don’t want to be there. Naturally, your date would hate this; show genuine interest in the conversation, activities, and company. Your positive attitude will no doubt create a more enjoyable experience for both of you.
Overplanning
It’s wise to plan dates to some degree, but be careful about overloading the occasion with too many activities. This can be exhausting and leave you both with little time to talk and learn about each other. So, keep the itinerary simple and flexible to allow for spontaneous conversation and relaxation, and avoid venues where you can’t talk, such as the movies or a play.
Talking About Future Plans
It should go without saying that discussing future plans or commitments during your first date is way too early and will probably overwhelm your date. It might suggest that you’re moving too fast, so focus on the present and getting to know each other without putting pressure on each other regarding expectations for the future.
Ignoring Boundaries
One of the worst date errors anyone could make is ignoring the personal space and boundaries of their date. Overstepping physical or conversational boundaries can make your date uncomfortable, immediately ruining your chances for a follow-up. So, read the room, be mindful of their comfort level, and adjust your behavior accordingly.
Poor Table Manners
If you’re heading to a restaurant with your date, remember to bring your best table manners. Bad dining etiquette can be a significant turn-off, such as eating with your mouth open, making noise, or being rude to waitstaff. It will reflect poorly on your character, and a good impression matters, so you may ruin your chances if you’re not careful.
Not Following Up
Above all, many people see it as the man’s responsibility to initiate follow-ups after a date, so don’t wait around for it to come to you. It doesn’t matter if you’re interested in a second date or not; a polite message thanking them for their time shows respect and consideration. Don’t play games of waiting before contacting them, which is childish–just reach out whenever you’re ready.