It’s natural to feel insecure occasionally, but some people struggle with it particularly badly, trying to mask it through specific behaviors and habits that often reveal their true feelings. Exaggerating stories or consistently making others wait are just a couple of examples. Here are 18 common habits of deeply insecure individuals.
Difficulty Accepting Praise
Why do people have trouble accepting compliments? Reader’s Digest says, “Sometimes, it’s tied to social anxiety. It can also be caused by feelings of low self-esteem, or by going through life without experiencing positive feelings of gratitude.” Insecure people may doubt the sincerity of praise or misinterpret kind words.
They’re Terrified of Being Disliked
The fear of disapproval or being disliked is a common trait of highly insecure people. From a young age, they often learn that approval is crucial, leading them to constantly seek validation in various aspects of life, from friendships to professional relationships. They may have underlying doubts about being truly liked or wanted.
Pretending to Be in a Rush
Highly insecure people may often check their watch or phone, even making a show of it. They may also walk unusually fast, trying to give off the impression that they’re being overworked. An insecure person does this to create a facade of a hectic schedule to appear important to others.
Exaggerating Titles and Events
Another habit of an insecure person would be using impressive-sounding terms for ordinary events. For example, they may re-label a work meeting as a high-profile gathering or a friend’s birthday party as a luxury event. Once again, they’re aiming to appear exclusive and successful to cover up their insecurities.
Struggling With Independence
Though they won’t admit it, insecure people can struggle with being alone. They may cling excessively to partners, lacking personal space, which creates tension in relationships due to their dependence. Mind Body Green says, “Clingy behavior comes from a person’s desire to fulfill their unmet needs, whether it be emotional, physical, spiritual, or mental.”
Exhibiting Excessive Jealousy
An insecure person may be very jealous, doubting their partner’s fidelity without any basis or proof. They might monitor their partner’s phones or whereabouts. This also applies to their friendships. Insecure people may become jealous when their friends have other friends, which can lead to a toxic situation.
Displaying a Preoccupied Demeanor
Insecure people may avoid appearing relaxed or open to distractions at all costs. They may frequently frown or squint as if burdened, giving the impression of carrying significant responsibilities. Why do they do this? Both for attention and to give off the impression that they are important.
Using Misleading Away Messages
In a work environment, insecure people may do things like set up automatic replies to suggest they have a high email volume. This implies they’re too busy or important for immediate responses. They may also suggest contacting an assistant, even if it is unnecessary.
Worrying About Being the Odd One Out
According to PsychAlive, “the most common self-critical thought people have toward themselves is that they are different—not in a positive sense, but in some negative, alienating way.” With that in mind, insecure people tend to have a tendency to follow trends to fit in. They may also have concerns over their social status and perception.
Fear of Appearing Silly or Weak
Likewise, insecure people may be concerned about being perceived as abnormal or weird. This likely stems from a history of being marginalized or bullied. As a result, these people may change their views, opinions, and styles frequently to conform to perceived norms.
Making Others Wait
Those who are insecure may often make others wait, intentionally arriving late to establish a power dynamic. Psychology Today says, “This tendency to keep others in suspense may be part of a larger pattern known as entitlement.” They may be creating a sense of their own importance through others’ waiting or using their delayed arrival as a tactic to seem busier.
Overstating Achievements on Social Media
Someone who frequently posts content that exaggerates their professional status is likely insecure. They may continuously highlight their skills and accomplishments and curate their social media to always show themselves in a favorable light, caring immensely about how they look to other people.
Acting Like the Smartest in the Room
An insecure person will often dismiss others’ contributions and instead try to dominate conversations with their knowledge. They may react negatively when their expertise is challenged and feel that they always have to be right, making themselves feel better by putting others down.
Constant Dissatisfaction
Someone who appears to be perpetually unhappy with their current situation, whether that’s their career, their appearance, their living space, and so on, is likely insecure. They may idealize partners, leading to unrealistic expectations, or constantly find faults in things, seeking perfection.
Betraying Loved Ones
Insecure people may seek external validation and praise, which can lead to cheating or betrayal in relationships. YourTango says, “At the heart of cheating are personal insecurity and self-loathing. What really makes people cheat is unhappiness with themselves. It comes from deep-seated personal anguish and self-hatred.”
Being Insensitive
Because insecure people tend to be excessively focused on themselves, they may ignore their partners’ or friends’ needs. This could be in the form of neglecting other people’s feelings or problems. As a result, insecure people are often tagged as self-obsessed, hindering their relationship growth.
Lacking Optimism
We already discussed dissatisfaction with their current lives, but insecure people can also lack optimism as a whole, seeing no hope for the future. This pervasive negativity can be draining for those around them, which can prevent them from forming lasting, healthy relationships.
Limited Social Interaction
Some insecure people prefer solitude over socializing and going out. This isn’t necessarily due to introversion but rather stems from a deep mistrust of others and a constant doubt about their intentions. When paired with a partner who enjoys socializing, this can lead to significant relationship strain. Their reluctance to interact socially hampers their ability to enjoy life fully and creates rifts in relationships.