Achieving a happy and lasting marriage is something we all hope for, but it takes consistent effort and care. To keep your relationship strong over the years, there are key habits and behaviors that should always be a priority. This article highlights 19 important practices that can help your marriage grow and stand the test of time.
Honesty
“Some researchers estimate that the average person tells around 1–2 lies per day. However, other studies have found much higher numbers—some suggest that people tell closer to 10–15 lies per day on average,” says Golden Steps ABA. For a relationship to be successful, both partners have to be honest with one another.
Respect
Respect is essential for a successful marriage. A couple who respects their partner will not flirt with others. They will speak to them in a loving tone. They will also ask their partner what they think before making important decisions and try their best to yield to their preferences.
Communication
The figures from WordsRated show that “the average person speaks around 16,000 words in a day, with females (16,215 words) speaking slightly more than males (15,699).” But how many of those words do we say to our partner? Communication is essential for a marriage to flourish.
Kindness
Your marriage partner is the closest person to you. Because of the confidence you have in one another, you might feel it’s okay to be rude to your partner or speak to them disrespectfully. But this is not acceptable. The way you speak to your partner should always reflect kindness.
Quality Time
If a couple does not spend time with one another, they will drift apart. Make sure you spend quality time with your partner, which means putting your electronic devices away and really talking. Do this by leaving your work at work and banning the use of smartphones at the dinner table.
Compromise
“Compromise is an important tool in relationships because it helps resolve conflicts. If you or your partner are unable to compromise and insist on things only being done your way, it can lead to repeated conflict, which can erode the relationship over time,” says VeryWell Mind.
Gratitude
For your partner to feel appreciated and loved, you must show them thanks when they do things for you. A thankless marriage is not a happy one. If your partner feels like they are expected to do things without any grace, they will soon get tired.
Listening
According to the MOspace Institutional Repository, “many of us spend 70 to 80 percent of our time in some form of communication. Of that time, we spend about 9 percent writing, 16 percent reading, 30 percent speaking, and 45 percent listening.” For a marriage to be successful, we have to spend time listening to our partner.
Patience
Your partner should feel like they can let their hair down with you because they feel comfortable around you. Because of this, you might have to put up with some habits you are not keen on. Patiently deal with your partner’s flaws, and remember that you also make mistakes.
Compliments
VeryWell Mind also states that compliments are an important part of a relationship. “Compliments really are one of the easiest two-way streets available to spread happiness around you and increase your own. The more you compliment, the better you feel.” Make sure you compliment your partner regularly.
Sharing
No one wants to be stuck in a “me first” relationship. That is why it is important, even after many years of marriage, for a person to share with their partner. Sharing even trivial things like food snacks will help your partner see that you’re not selfish but rather a selfless person who loves them.
Personal Interest
Couples who are really invested in one another show personal interest. This means they take the time to ask one another what they think and how they feel about things. They are not just interested in what is good for themselves but in what is good for one another.
Trust
A healthy relationship is one that is built on trust. For both parties to feel safe, you have to be able to trust one another. But your partner will not be able to trust you unless you prove yourself trustworthy. Remember that trust is hard to earn and quick to lose.
Kind Speech
Figures from the NIH show that “verbal abuse [is] the most common form of non-physical violence and is estimated [to be] from 51.8% to 63.4% worldwide.” But verbal abuse has no place in a successful marriage. A person must speak to their partner with love for the relationship to thrive.
Forgiveness
A couple in a good relationship will not hesitate to extend forgiveness. A couple must freely forgive one another and refrain from displaying tit-for-tat behavior. They must be fair to one another and have the confidence to speak honestly with one another about their shortcomings.
Positivity
Before you say something negative to your partner, stop and think about it. Is what you are about to say necessary? Is it true? Will it uplift your partner? If you cannot respond positively to these three questions, then it is likely best that you don’t say it.
Vulnerability
Good relationships become strong, life-long commitments when partners honestly open up to one another. Couples must feel confident enough to share their innermost thoughts with their partner without feeling afraid that they will be judged. They should be able to be vulnerable with one another.
Reasonableness
A good partner will always show reasonableness toward their marriage partner. They will not expect too much from them and will not be demanding or bossy. They will share household chores and take it in turns to do them. Part of being reasonable is also recognizing one another’s limitations.
Observant
A person who knows their partner well will be observant and know their movements. They will be aware when something is not right before their partner says anything. They know how their partner will react to certain situations and how they’re feeling, even when they can’t express themselves.