Friendships should always be supportive and uplifting. Sadly, they can be totally different and, hence, draining, to say the lease. However, the good news is that spotting toxic behaviors can help you figure out if the relationship is worth sticking around for or not, and here are some signs that can help in this regard.
Lack of Support
Support is a must in any friendship, so you should never put up with someone who refuses to provide it. If your friend never cheers you on or celebrates your wins, this can feel super discouraging and isolating. It may also be a sign that they struggle with jealousy and would rather see you fail than succeed.
Jealousy
Speaking of jealousy, this is another common issue that can seriously damage any friendship. While a little jealousy is normal, when it’s not handled correctly, it can become very destructive. If your friend always seems to be envious of your successes or tries to downplay them, this is a sure sign of a toxic relationship. True friends should be happy for each other’s achievements and build each other up.
Self-Centeredness
We’ve all been around that person who only wants to talk about themselves. If your friend rarely shows interest in your life and every conversation is about them, it shows a lack of empathy and consideration. A balanced friendship means caring about each other’s experiences equally.
Manipulation
As noted by Psychology Today, manipulative behavior is often subtle but surprisingly damaging, causing you to doubt yourself or your reality. If it feels like your friend always finds a way to get you to do things you don’t want to do or makes you feel guilty for their benefit, they’re probably manipulating you. Healthy friendships are built on mutual respect and understanding, not manipulation and control.
Constant Criticism
Sure, constructive criticism can be helpful, but there’s a big difference between being constructive and being downright rude for no reason. If your friend is always nitpicking and making you feel awful, this could be a big red flag. Those constant negative comments can eat away at your self-esteem and eventually leave you feeling frustrated and bad about yourself.
Excessive Negativity
Everyone has bad days, but if your friend is in a constant state of negativity and always complaining, it can really drain your energy. Constant negativity can begin to sour even the most positive person’s outlook on life and create a toxic atmosphere. A positive mindset is essential for your well-being, so if you always feel worse about things after being around them, you might want to consider cutting them out.
Unreliability
If your friend constantly cancels plans, shows up late, or doesn’t keep promises, it can be really frustrating and hurtful. Reliability is a super important part of any relationship, so you shouldn’t tolerate someone who shows you time and time again that they can’t be depended on.
Drama Magnet
While drama can feel exciting at times, it also adds unnecessary stress to your life. If your friend is always involved in conflicts and drags you into their problems, it can be exhausting and bad for your well-being. Being a constant source of drama indicates a tendency towards unhealthy relationships and can wreck your peace of mind.
Disrespecting Boundaries
As most people know, respecting boundaries is one of the most important things you can do in a relationship. If your friend often crosses your boundaries or ignores your comfort zones, it’s a clear sign of disrespect. Healthy friendships are all about understanding and respecting each other’s limits and privacy.
Inconsistency
Having an inconsistent friend can make the friendship feel like it’s always on shaky ground. If one day they’re warm and friendly and the next, they’re cold and distant, it can be really confusing and unsettling. Consistency is key to building trust and reliability in a friendship, and without it, things can get pretty toxic.
Lack of Empathy
Empathy is super important when you want to build an emotional connection. If your friend doesn’t seem to care about your feelings or struggles, this will naturally cause a lot of hurt. A friend who lacks empathy might not give you the emotional support you need, making the relationship feel one-sided and unfulfilling.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a serious form of manipulation where someone makes you doubt your own reality. If your friend often denies things they’ve said or done, making you question your memory or perception, that’s a big red flag. Trusting your own experiences is crucial for your mental health.
Competitiveness
A little healthy competition can be motivating, but if your friend always tries to outdo you, it can feel oppressive. Excessive competitiveness can turn a friendship into a rivalry instead of a supportive relationship. True friends celebrate each other’s successes without feeling the need to compete.
Playing the Victim
Playing the victim can be a very sneaky and manipulative move. If your friend always acts like they’re the victim and never takes responsibility for their actions, it can be draining and feel totally unfair. This behavior shifts all the blame onto others, making it tough to resolve conflicts in a healthy way.
Dishonesty
No friendship can be truly successful without a healthy amount of trust. If your friend is always lying or hiding the truth, it can really drive a wedge between you. Constant dishonesty makes you feel betrayed and can destroy the trust you have in each other, which is a clear sign of a toxic friendship.
Exploitative Behavior
Nobody likes being taken advantage of, and for good reason. If your friend is always exploiting your kindness or generosity—whether it’s financially, emotionally, or otherwise—it’s a red flag. Friendships should be about mutual support, not one-sided taking.
Invalidation
Having your feelings dismissed can be incredibly hurtful, especially when it happens time and time again. If your friend constantly invalidates your emotions or makes you feel like your concerns don’t matter, it can chip away at your self-worth. Good friends validate each other’s feelings rather than making fun of or dismissing them.
Guilt Tripping
Guilt tripping is a sneaky way to make someone feel bad and manipulate them into doing something differently. If your friend often makes you feel guilty to get what they want, it creates an unhealthy dynamic. Friendships should be built on mutual respect, not manipulative guilt tactics.
Overly Critical
Nobody needs a constant critic in their life. If your friend is always pointing out your flaws and rarely says anything positive, it can really hurt your self-esteem. Constructive feedback is vital, but it should come with a good dose of encouragement and support.
Lack of Apology
We all make mistakes, but refusing to apologize is a toxic trait. If your friend never admits when they’re wrong or won’t say sorry, it shows a lack of accountability. Not being able to apologize can keep conflicts unresolved and create a toxic atmosphere.
Ignoring Your Needs
A friend who constantly ignores your needs is not being supportive. If your friend is only ever focused on what they want and neglects your needs, it can lead to feelings of neglect and resentment. A healthy friendship is about caring for each other’s well-being.