Even if you have the tightest group of friends, it’s a sad fact that every now and then, a fake friend comes along. They might be friendly to your face, but in reality, they’ll go behind your back to hurt you. And here are a few ways to spot this person and get them out of your social circle.
Gossiping Behind Your Back
One of the clearest signs of a fake friend is when they talk negatively about you to others. This betrayal of trust indicates they do not have your best interests at heart. In reality, true friends respect your privacy and would never spread rumors or speak ill of you. So, you should either confront the gossiping friend or simply stop giving them your time.
Flaky and Unreliable
If you notice that one of your friends consistently cancels plans or fails to show up when promised, they’re clearly not dependable. This unreliability shows a lack of respect for your time and a disinterest in maintaining the relationship. Authentic friendships thrive on mutual reliability and commitment, not flakiness.
Envious of Your Success
It’s a sad fact that instead of feeling happy about your accomplishments, a fake friend will display jealousy. They might downplay your successes or act resentful, showing envy that can manifest in subtle ways, such as undermining your achievements and creating a general vibe of negativity. You don’t want that kind of friend around you.
Lack of Support During Tough Times
True friends will always stick by your side when life gets tough, whereas, as Verywell Mind explains, a fake friend will suddenly disappear when you need them most. They’ll be full of excuses instead of support and will only really be around during the good times, avoiding situations where they might need to lend a hand.
Constantly Competitive
A fake friend will often see your success as a threat, so they’ll try to one-up you at every turn rather than celebrating your achievements. This jealous and competitive nature can create an uncomfortable and stressful dynamic, making you feel more like a rival than a friend, which isn’t how it should be at all.
Always Talking About Themselves
Listen to your friends talk, and if one of them constantly dominates conversations and talks about themself, they’re probably fake. This self-centered behavior reveals a lack of concern for your feelings and interests, showing their true colors, whereas real friends will hear you out and give everyone a chance to speak.
Making Everything a Competition
Due to being threatened by your success, a fake friend will make everything feel like a constant battle. Everything is a contest to them because they’re trying to outdo you at everything. They won’t have your best interests at heart, so if you succeed in something, you can guarantee they’ll treat this as a threat to their self-esteem.
Never Returning Favors
Friends will always help each other out when they’re struggling, such as lending them money when they’re broke or giving them a ride to work when they miss the bus. However, while a fake friend will gladly accept such favors from you, they will never return them because they only see relationships as an opportunity for taking, not giving.
Reaching Out Only When in Need
Another way to spot a fake friend in your circle is if you notice they only reach out when they need something from you. They’ll disappear completely for most of the time, but as we mentioned in the last point, as soon as they need something from you, like a favor or something to borrow, they’ll act like your best friend again.
Leaving You Feeling Drained
If you notice that, after spending time with a friend, you feel emotionally exhausted, there’s clearly not something right. Perhaps their negativity, self-centeredness, or lack of support is the cause for this. Either way, true friends will always uplift you, leaving you feeling positive and valued after hanging out with them.
Disregarding Your Boundaries
Fake friends are known to disrespect the boundaries of their friends, which is a serious red flag in any relationship. They’ll ignore your limits, pushing you into uncomfortable situations and mocking you when you say no. This lack of respect indicates they do not value your feelings or the boundaries you set for your well-being.
Insincere Actions
Another classic trait of fake friends is how they display insincerity in their words and actions. Their compliments may feel forced, and their concern for your well-being can come across as disingenuous. Genuine friends offer heartfelt support and praise, creating a foundation of trust and authenticity.
Ignoring Your Successes
Real friends will always celebrate your milestones with you, sharing in your excitement as if it is their own. On the other hand, instead of joining in your joy, a fake friend will ignore or downplay your achievements, revealing their true feelings and lack of genuine happiness for you. Unfortunately, this is often because they have very low self-esteem, although that’s really not an excuse.
Criticizing More Than Praising
Watch out if you notice a friend who frequently criticizes but rarely praises you because they’re probably just a fake friend trying to bring down your self-esteem. Fake friends often focus on your flaws instead of highlighting your strengths, whereas a true friend will always offer constructive criticism balanced with genuine praise, helping you grow while boosting your confidence.
Manipulative Behavior
Another red flag in any relationship is manipulative behavior, something that fake friends show all the time. They might use guilt, flattery, or deceit to control you or get what they want. This completely undermines your trust and respect, which are key components of a healthy friendship.
Not Keeping Your Secrets
Any “friend” who reveals your secrets to other people is not a true friend at all. Confidentiality is a cornerstone of trust, so you’d have to have genuinely evil intentions to reveal your secrets to other people. True friends honor your privacy, keep your confidence safe, and show they value your trust.
Failing to Apologize
Everyone makes mistakes, but a fake friend often fails to apologize when they hurt you. This refusal to acknowledge their wrongdoing indicates a lack of empathy and respect for your feelings, not to mention a complete lack of accountability. They’ll even try to turn the tables on other friends, shifting the blame in any way that they can.
Making You Feel Insecure
Sadly, fake friends love to make you doubt yourself by constantly questioning your decisions or belittling your achievements. This undermines your confidence and fosters insecurity, and somehow, that makes them happy. It should go without saying that a real friend would never do that to you.
Lack of Effort in Maintaining the Relationship
Above all, it’s important to remember that friendship requires effort from both parties, something that a fake friend does not care about at all. They will put in minimal effort to maintain the relationship and will continue to do so as long as you’re giving something back. Ultimately, as soon as they see you as unuseful to them, they’ll ditch you, as they just don’t care about your friendship.