Parenting often calls for creativity and, sometimes, a little fibbing. And white lies are a rite of passage or just a way to avoid tricky conversations. Here are some of the most relatable fibs parents have likely shared with their little ones. How many have you heard?
Your Face Will Stay Like That If You Keep Pulling It
Every parent has said this at least once when their child is pulling a silly face or crossing their eyes for the hundredth time that day. “Your face will stay like that” might not hold any truth, but it works wonders in putting an end to endless gurning—plus, it’s a lot easier than explaining why staring at one’s nose isn’t the best use of time.
The Tooth Fairy Won’t Come If You Don’t Sleep
The magic of the Tooth Fairy has been used to inspire good behaviour, particularly at bedtime, and the thought of waking up to find a shiny coin is enough to send most kids rushing to their beds.
Sure, it’s a little white lie, but let’s face it: there’s no better way to speed up the bedtime process than invoking the name of a whimsical fairy.
Eating Your Crusts Makes Your Hair Curly
This one is a classic, and while it doesn’t have a shred of scientific backing, it’s part of the universal language of parenting. No one knows who came up with it, but generations of parents have used it to encourage kids to finish every last bite of their sandwiches.
We’re All Out of Sweets
Whether the treat jar is actually empty or not, it’s a quick and easy way to avoid the debate altogether, and sometimes it’s a lie to preserve the peace, while other times, it’s an effort to protect the secret chocolate stash hidden at the back of the cupboard. Either way, it’s a staple line in the mums and dads’ playbook.
Santa Is Always Watching
Christmas magic wouldn’t be the same without the watchful eye of Santa Claus. The idea that Santa is keeping tabs on their behaviour all year long is just enough to nudge kids towards being on their best behaviour, particularly as the big day approaches, and one mention of “the naughty list,” and you’ve got their attention.
That’s a Special Adult Drink
The moment a child reaches for your cup of tea, coffee, or—heaven forbid—a glass of wine, out comes the trusty “that’s a special adult drink” line. It’s not that mothers and fathers don’t want to share; it’s just that the idea of explaining why coffee tastes bitter or why wine isn’t juice is a conversation most mums and dads aren’t ready to have mid-dinner prep.
If You Don’t Put a Coat On, You’ll Catch a Cold
Let’s be honest: it’s less about health and more about avoiding a long debate when you’re already running late for school, a line passed down from generation to generation and a quintessential British parenting fib.
It might not be entirely accurate—since colds are caused by viruses, not chilly weather—but it gets the job done.
The Car Won’t Start Until You Buckle Up
Getting kids to buckle up can feel like trying to herd cats, therefore by making the seatbelt the “key” to starting the car, adults cleverly avoid the endless back-and-forth over why seatbelts are non-negotiable. After all, who can argue with keeping everyone secure while on the road?
The Ice Cream Van Plays Music When It’s Out of Ice Cream
If you want to avoid yet another ice cream purchase or just a tactical move to get through the park without a meltdown, this one’s for you, and the genius lies in its simplicity: it’s logical enough to believe but creative enough to distract. Kids may catch on eventually, but by then, they’re old enough to understand the concept of “not every trip needs an ice cream.”
The Fish Are Sleeping
If you’ve ever visited an aquarium with a child, you’ve likely been asked, “Why isn’t that fish moving?” It’s a tricky moment, especially if you’re not ready to explain the full details of aquatic life and death. “The fish are sleeping” is a gentle, comforting answer that keeps their curiosity satisfied without venturing into territory you’d rather avoid.
It’s also an opportunity to teach kids about how different animals rest, even if your version leans more on imagination than fact.
You’ll Shrink If You Stay in the Bath Too Long
Bath time can be a battleground, with children either refusing to get in or never wanting to get out, and the idea that they’ll shrink if they stay too long strikes just the right balance between playful and persuasive.
It gives them something to think about while making the transition from bath to bedtime just a little smoother.
The Shops Are Closed
This one is as old as time and just as effective: when your little one is begging for a trip to the toy aisle or a packet of crisps, “the shops are closed” is a quick way to sidestep the conversation. It’s particularly useful in the UK, where many shops do close earlier than kids might expect, lending just enough truth to make it believable.
That’s How the Toothpaste Gets the Stripes
Few things capture a child’s imagination quite like striped toothpaste. When they inevitably ask how it’s made, parents often dive into an entirely fictional explanation involving tiny workers, secret machinery, or magic, and it’s not actually meant to deceive but to add a bit of wonder to an everyday moment.
Your Teddy Is Watching You
For children who adore their stuffed animals, the idea that their teddy is keeping an eye on them can be both comforting and motivating, and parents use this mentality to encourage good behaviour, turning a favourite toy into an ally in their parenting arsenal—because no child wants to disappoint their beloved teddy bear.
The Floor Is Lava
Wanting to get children up and moving or cleaning up their toys means using the trusty “the floor is lava”. The concept is simple yet effective: by turning everyday spaces into imaginary challenges, dads and mums can redirect their kids’ energy in a fun and constructive way.
If You Eat That, You’ll Turn Into One
If you have kids who overindulge in a single food, like carrots, sweets, or even chips, telling them they’ll turn into it is often met with giggles, yet the reasoning behind it is helping them to eat in moderation. Parents know it’s a bit of harmless nonsense, but it’s amazing how effective it can be.
The Wind Will Change If You Keep Whistling Indoors
An old British classic, this line is a mix of superstition and creativity. Whistling indoors might not actually change the wind’s direction, but it’s a quirky way to encourage quiet time or stop an annoying habit—and whether kids believe it or not, they’re usually too amused to keep arguing.
Dogs Only Like Well-Behaved Children
For families with a dog—or even those without—this little white lie is a charming way to encourage kindness and good manners because young children are often eager to win the approval of animals. The idea that their behaviour impacts how a dog might feel about them motivates them to do better.
Peas Make You Grow Taller
This is the ultimate mealtime motivator, especially for fussy eaters: the promise that eating peas—or any vegetable, for that matter—will make them grow tall like their favourite footballer or superhero is enough to get most kids chewing.
It’s not entirely untrue since veggies are good for them, but the exaggerated outcome makes it all the more likely they’ll listen.