Building and maintaining strong friendships requires effort, understanding, and awareness of how our actions can impact others. If you’re looking to strengthen your existing friendships or make new connections, it’s important to recognize certain behaviors that might inadvertently drive people away. This article outlines common habits to steer clear of if you want to nurture healthier and more lasting relationships with your friends.
Sniggering
No one likes to be laughed at. If someone feels like they’re being made fun of by the people who are supposed to be their friends, they’ll quickly change their friendship group. Your friends are meant to support you and should never snigger at you.
Envy
Envy is wanting what your friend has and wishing they didn’t have it. Envy is dangerous among friends. Healthline says that envy can cause others to “experience extreme stress and possibly act in ways that are hurtful or harmful to others.” If one friend envies another, they may stop at nothing until they can get what the other person has.
Bullying
If there’s a bully among a group of friends, people with more relaxed personalities will quickly begin to feel uncomfortable. No one wants to feel bullied by anyone or coerced into doing something that they don’t want to do. A bully isn’t a real friend.
Ungratefulness
Showing gratitude is important among friends. If friends feel obliged to do things for one another without receiving any thanks, the friendship won’t be very strong or last long. Friends should be reasonable with one another and should always say thank you to one another.
Lack of Initiative
Friendships grow when people take the initiative to call one another, text, or spend time together in person. When a friend shows a lack of initiative to do these things, the friendship will feel one-sided and others might give up trying to spend time with them.
Stealing
Close friends might borrow things from one another with the other person’s consent. But there’s nothing that will break a friendship faster than stealing. Taking something, even from a friend, without permission is never okay, and people have the right to get very angry and lose trust in someone who acts this way.
Ignoring
No one wants to feel ignored. If people switch off or quickly change the subject while someone is talking, that person will feel unappreciated and will conclude that their friends don’t care about them. It’s important that friends pay close attention to what others say.
Fault-Finding
“It is quite easy to find faults in others and [not] recognize your own faults,” says the Psychowellness Center. “People who are finding faults in others must have some deep-rooted insecurity in [themselves].” Faultfinders are those who are always looking for something wrong and struggle to see the good in anything. These kinds of people bring down the morale of the group.
Jealousy
Jealousy is less dangerous than envy but it’s still serious and can erode even the closest of friendships. Those who are jealous of one another want what the other person has. Jealousy foments competition in a friendship. Unhealthy competition will quickly make the friendship fall apart.
One-Sided
One-sided conversations are great for the person who’s doing all the talking but really boring for the person who’s listening. Conversations between good friends are two-way, with equal amounts of talking and listening. Someone who always has to do the listening and never has any input will quickly get bored.
Taking Credit
When someone takes credit for what someone else did, they show themselves to be a selfish person. This kind of person is more concerned about their reputation than they are anyone else’s. If a friend feels like they’re being taken advantage of, they will quickly cut ties with the group.
Holding Grudges
We all make mistakes, and good friends recognize that. We don’t expect perfection from each other. People who hold grudges quickly terminate good friendships, as no one wants to be around someone who doesn’t know how to forgive and keeps harping on about an offense.
Flirting
“There is a risk that flirting can become something bigger and more destructive, leading some to stray and commit emotional or physical infidelity. It can destroy your relationship,” says Choosing Therapy. Flirting between friends can be dangerous because it can quickly make people feel jealous and send mixed messages.
Gossiping
Gossip is one of the most toxic behaviors that can split up friendships instantly. Gossip damages the reputation of the person you’re gossiping about. Gossiping also makes others in the friendship circle look bad, as they’re tempted to share information they’re not even sure is true.
Lying
Lying about others damages their reputation. It makes the person who spreads the falsehood look bad, and it makes those who believe the lie look gullible and easy to persuade. When a lie isn’t reported to the innocent party immediately, this person feels like they’re being attacked.
Slandering
Slander is even more serious than a lie. According to the Collins Dictionary, “To slander someone means to say untrue things about them in order to damage their reputation.” This is worse than a lie because the person is intentionally saying something false. Slander quickly terminates friendships.
Butting In
We all know someone who always butts in while other people are talking. Although they’re very enthusiastic about the conversation and want to jump in at any opportunity, doing so is actually rude. When people feel like they’re not being heard, they quickly lose interest in the relationship.
Pressure
Friends should respect one another’s boundaries. Everyone should have the freedom to behave the way they want to. They should never push one another outside of their comfort zones. If a friend in a friendship group tries to pressure others into doing things they’re not morally comfortable with, the group will soon split up.