We all encounter challenging individuals from time to time—whether it’s a co-worker, a friend, or even a family member. While everyone has their off days, some behaviours consistently signal that someone might be a difficult person to deal with. Here are 18 behaviours that scream “difficult person” and how you might spot them.
Constant Complaining
“Chronic complainers… are toxic not only to themselves but also to the people around them,” says Harvard Business Review. Everyone vents occasionally, but a difficult person takes it to another level with constant complaining; nothing ever seems good enough for them, and they can always find something to criticise. This negativity can bring down the morale of those around them and create an atmosphere of discontent.
Always Needs to Be Right
A person who always needs to be right can be exhausting to deal with. They refuse to consider other viewpoints and will go to great lengths to prove their point, even when it’s clear they’re wrong, and this can stifle productive conversations and make others feel undervalued.
Interrupts Others
Interrupting others is a clear sign of disrespect and a hallmark of a difficult person, as this behaviour shows a lack of patience and consideration for what others have to say. It sends the message that their thoughts and opinions are more important, leading to frustration among their peers.
Never Apologises
A difficult person often struggles with admitting when they’re wrong and apologising; this lack of accountability can strain relationships, as it shows a disregard for the feelings and perspectives of others. Without the willingness to acknowledge mistakes and offer sincere apologies, conflicts remain unresolved.
Excessive Self-Centredness
When someone is excessively self-centred, they prioritise their own needs and desires over those of others, and this behaviour can manifest in various ways, such as monopolising conversations, disregarding others’ time and effort, and expecting constant attention. Their inability to see beyond their own perspective can make them seem insensitive and unempathetic, leading to strained relationships.
Passive-Aggressiveness
Passive-aggressiveness is a subtle yet destructive trait that difficult people often exhibit. Instead of addressing issues directly, they resort to indirect expressions of hostility, such as sarcasm, backhanded compliments, or deliberate procrastination, resulting in confusion and tension.
Refusal to Compromise
Compromise is essential in any relationship, but a difficult person often refuses to budge by insisting on having things their way and viewing compromise as a sign of weakness. This rigid mindset can lead to frequent conflicts and a lack of cooperation, as others may feel their needs are consistently dismissed.
Manipulative Behaviour
A classic trait of difficult individuals is manipulative behaviour, where they’ll use deceit, guilt, or emotional blackmail to get what they want—often at the expense of others. Manipulators create a toxic environment where people feel they must constantly be on guard.
Holding Grudges
Difficult people often hold onto grudges and past grievances, unable to forgive and move on. This behaviour can poison relationships and create an atmosphere of ongoing tension and resentment, and instead of addressing issues and resolving conflicts, they harbour bitterness.
Disrespecting Boundaries
Respecting boundaries is key to maintaining healthy relationships, but a difficult person often disregards them; they may invade personal space, overstep limits in conversations, or ignore others’ comfort levels. This behaviour shows a lack of respect and consideration, making others feel uncomfortable.
Excessive Pessimism
Another hallmark of a difficult person is excessive pessimism, as they always seem to expect the worst and focus on potential negative outcomes. This constant negativity can be draining for those around them and stifle optimism and enthusiasm; after all, pessimists can bring down the mood in any situation.
Blame-Shifting
A person who is hard work often refuses to take responsibility for their actions, preferring to shift the blame onto others, creating a toxic environment where accountability is lacking. Blame-shifting not only damages relationships but also prevents personal growth, as they fail to learn from their mistakes.
Overly Critical
Being overly critical is a common trait among problematic individuals, as they constantly find faults in others and are quick to point out mistakes. This relentless criticism can be demoralising and damaging to self-esteem, and instead of offering constructive feedback, they focus on tearing others down.
Inflexibility
Resisting change and being unwilling to adapt to new situations or perspectives is a personality trait of a demanding person, as this rigid mindset can hinder progress and innovation. They’re stuck in their ways and unable to see the benefits of alternative approaches thanks to this inflexibility.
Attention-Seeking
They might also crave recognition and validation, often going to great lengths to be the centre of attention, and this can manifest in disruptive behaviours, exaggeration, or creating drama. Their need for constant attention can be exhausting for those around them and detract from group efforts.
Unreliability
Unreliability is a frustrating trait of difficult individuals. They frequently break promises, miss deadlines, or fail to follow through on commitments, and others may find it hard to depend on them, leading to increased stress and frustration. Their lack of reliability can disrupt plans and hinder teamwork, making everything more challenging than it needs to be.
Overreaction to Criticism
A bothersome person often overreacts to criticism, no matter how constructive or gently delivered, because they take feedback personally and respond with defensiveness, anger, or even hostility. This inability to handle criticism prevents them from learning and growing, as they are closed off to others’ perspectives.
Lack of Empathy
One final behaviour ringing alarm bells is a lack of empathy; this person may struggle to understand or appreciate the feelings and experiences of others, often coming across as cold or indifferent. Without empathy, it’s hard to build meaningful and supportive relationships.