Working on a strong and enduring romantic relationship demands compatibility, compromise, mutual understanding, and equal effort from both partners. While relationships are inherently complex and everyone has their flaws, there are certain common mistakes that women might make. Here are 19 such missteps that can obstruct the path to a happy, healthy, long-term partnership with your man.
Putting Up with Emotional Distance
While men may not always be as expressive or emotional as women, they still have deep feelings. Women’s Health says emotionally distant men make their female partners feel isolated and snubbed when they refuse to discuss things like personal challenges, innermost thoughts, and private desires. Address the issue with non-judgmental, open dialogue or even counseling.
Always Being the Giver
Healthy adult relationships are a two-way street. While one or the other partner may require more time and support during certain times, be concerned if you’re always the one supporting him. Don’t put your partner’s needs before your own, and don’t accept inequality—only a fair, balanced, and mutually supportive relationship will ensure your long-lasting happiness.
Trying to Change Him
No potential partner will be the perfect match in every way, but choosing someone with whom you’re compatible is essential. Vogue agrees that trying to change a man isn’t really possible and will only result in disappointment for you and feelings of inadequacy for him. While openly discussing things that bother you is okay, don’t expect to change his core personality.
Playing Games
Playing mind games or acting aloof might work for teenagers or may even get their attention in the short term, but it isn’t a healthy foundation for a mature, long-lasting relationship. Be honest and open with him about your feelings, and don’t act disinterested if you’re not. Emotional manipulation and mind games will only create distrust and distance between you.
Not Communicating Needs
Women are often stereotyped as the better communicators in relationships. Yet, they can be guilty of expecting their partners to innately know how they’re feeling and why. Don’t assume your man can ‘pick up’ on subtle signals or hints, as this may make you feel snubbed. He’s not a mind reader, so tell him how you feel directly and explain what you need to be happy.
Possessiveness
Trust is vital in any healthy relationship, so being unnecessarily jealous will drive your partner away. While it’s okay to feel jealous now and then, try not to see your man as your possession and avoid trying to control his social life or friendships. Unless you have a good reason to be distrustful, focus on building trust and addressing the root cause of your insecurity instead.
Not Having Your Own Life
The Times of India asserts that ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’ and that spending time apart will make your man appreciate the time you spend together more. Having your own friends, hobbies, interests, and goals outside of your relationship is crucial. This not only makes you more interesting and attractive but also reduces the chance of you becoming unhealthily codependent.
Moving Too Fast
Falling in love is exciting, especially when a relationship is new and full of endless possibilities. While it’s fine to enjoy such feelings, don’t get carried away. Avoid rushing into serious commitments or planning a future together before you’ve gotten to know one another properly and built a mutual affection. Strong relationships require solid foundations.
Ignoring Red Flags
He may be handsome and exciting, but will you be able to make each other happy in the long term? Sometimes, we ignore warning signs in the beginning because we’re blinded by romance and want to believe that we’ve found someone perfect. Unfortunately, things like controlling behavior, addictions, anger issues, or disrespect are only likely to get worse.
Not Speaking Up for Yourself
In a healthy relationship, both partners feel comfortable expressing their opinions and needs and respect each other’s feelings, even when they don’t share them. Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself when your needs aren’t met or personal boundaries are crossed. Remember that any man worth having will want you to be happy and be respectful of your perspective.
Neglecting Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy is an important part of romantic relationships, and neglecting it will only damage your relationship, particularly for younger couples. If intimacy or sex has disappeared because of stress, resentment, or other issues between you, it will damage the connection you have with your partner. Be honest if your sexual desire wanes, and don’t be afraid to seek help.
Financial Dependence
According to CNBC, 23% of couples stay together because they cannot afford to separate and live separately. Financial independence is especially important for women in relationships, so ensure you have your own income and savings. This will ensure you never feel trapped in an unhealthy or unhappy relationship and will earn financial respect from your partner.
Taking on the ‘Mom’ Role
Some women fall into the trap of taking on a maternal role in their relationships, especially if they’re actual moms. Remember that nagging your partner or cleaning up after him doesn’t make you his equal, so don’t scold him like a child or take responsibility for him. Encourage your man to be responsible for himself and address any issues via calm communication, not nagging.
Putting Up with Disrespect
Respect is essential for any healthy relationship, and those who lack it are unhappy, unequal, and generally short. If your partner is overly critical, calls you names, or constantly mocks/belittles you, they don’t respect you. Ignoring such behavior makes it permissible, so don’t stand for it. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect; if your partner can’t do that, walk away.
Lack of Appreciation
Everyone needs to feel appreciated, even if they’re a stoic individual. Like women, men feel worthless and unvalued if their efforts and achievements aren’t acknowledged, so don’t take their dogged determination as a sign that they don’t want to be celebrated. Take the time to show gratitude when your partner does well or makes you happy, and aim to reciprocate.
Comparing Your Relationship to Others
Even before the days of social media and celebrities, the close-knit nature of female social circles made it easy for women to compare their relationships with those of their friends, family members, and colleagues. The old adage sagely states, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy,’ so focus on your own happiness and don’t try to make your relationship fit someone else’s ideal.
Holding Grudges
If you hold onto grudges, resentment and anger can fester and build up over time. If your partner has committed an unforgivable betrayal, you need to walk away. If you decide to stay, that means accepting and forgiving past mistakes and moving on from disagreements. Communicate openly and work together to resolve issues instead of letting them eat away at you.
Not Taking Care of Yourself
It’s easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day stresses and commitments of life, but neglecting yourself can negatively impact your relationship and mental health. Make time for self-care—get sufficient exercise, spend time with friends, eat well, pursue your hobbies, and pamper yourself sometimes. Staying relaxed and fulfilled is important for a healthy relationship.
Avoiding Conflict
Not all arguments are negative experiences—expressing yourself and airing your grievances can be cathartic and a catalyst for change, ultimately improving the relationship. Disagreements are inevitable, so healthy conflict resolution is a vital part of any relationship. Don’t shy away from addressing difficult topics, and never stay silent if you’re unhappy or dissatisfied.