Friendship is supposed to be a source of joy and support. But sadly, some people aren’t too kind to those who they hold close to them. In fact, some nasty behaviors may indicate that someone isn’t a friend at all, and here are a number of them that are subtle but can be the most telling signs.
Never Initiating Contact
It’s fair to always wait for your friends to reach out first, as this shows a lack of effort. This behavior can make them feel like maintaining the relationship is a one-sided task, suggesting that you don’t really care about staying connected or making time for them.
Gossiping About Them
It’s incredibly childish and mean to talk negatively behind a friend’s back, betraying their trust. Gossiping undermines the foundation of your friendship and reveals a lack of loyalty, a habit that will eventually lead to confrontation, causing irreparable damage to your friendship.
Interrupting Them
If you constantly cut your friends off during conversations, this shows a serious lack of respect for their thoughts and opinions. You clearly don’t value what they have to say, so you have to ask yourself why you’re spending time with them in the first place.
Constant Criticism
If you’re frequently criticized by your friends, always pointing out their flaws, you clearly don’t like them that much. It completely erodes trust and self-esteem, and if every interaction is filled with negative feedback, it’s a strong indicator of underlying resentment. As the Seattle Times points out, this behavior will eventually create a toxic environment, so your friends would be quite right to walk away.
Ignoring Messages
Sadly, ignoring messages is all too common these days, but if you continuously neglect to respond to your “friends’” messages, you’re showing a complete lack of respect and consideration. It suggests that you simply do not want to talk to them, making them feel unimportant. It can be quite passive-aggressive, too, so if this sounds like you, maybe you should let your friend go.
Frequent Plan Cancellations
Another thing you might regularly put your friends through is backing out of plans, signaling that you don’t value your friend’s time or company at all. This habit can be hurtful and frustrating, indicating that spending time together isn’t a priority for you. It’s a clear sign of disrespect and disinterest.
Being Jealous of Their Success
Friends should always be proud of each other’s achievements, so if you feel envious when your friends achieve something, this shows insecurity and a lack of support. Rather than celebrating their accomplishments, jealousy can create distance and cause negative feelings inside you, so maybe it’s time to find some new friends who you actually care about.
Never Apologizing
Grown adults should never refuse to apologize when they’ve done something wrong; if they do, it indicates a lack of maturity, humility, and respect. This behavior suggests that you don’t value friendship enough to admit mistakes and that you might even despise your so-called “friend.”
Not Listening
It’s incredibly unkind to tune out or even ignore your friends when they talk, which demonstrates disinterest. Active listening is vital for understanding and supporting friends and fostering deeper connections, so this habit shows that you don’t care about their thoughts or experiences.
Borrowing Without Returning
When your friend is kind enough to lend you something, not returning it is a serious sign of disrespect. It shows that you don’t value your friend’s belongings or their trust, which no one would put someone who they genuinely care about through.
Dismissing Their Feelings
People who minimize or invalidate their friends’ emotions are deeply hurtful and spiteful. This behavior suggests that they don’t care about their well-being, as acknowledging and supporting each other’s feelings is an important part of friendships. So, if this sounds like you, think hard about whether you really value this person as a friend.
Competing Constantly
Friendly competitions are good fun, but if you’re always trying to one-up your friends, this shows that you’re insecure and have a lack of genuine support for them. Such overly competitive behavior will inevitably create tension because true friends celebrate each other’s achievements without feeling the need to compete.
Using Them for Convenience
It’s exploitative and selfish if you only reach out to a friend when you need something from them. It shows a lack of genuine interest in the friendship, making them feel used and undervalued. Friendships should be mutually supportive, not based on convenience.
Forgetting Important Dates
Not remembering birthdays or significant events suggests a lack of care for your friendship. Such inconsiderate behavior can make friends feel forgotten and unimportant, so pay attention to their birthdays and other important dates if you genuinely care about them.
Being Unreliable
If you frequently fail to keep promises between friends or forget to show up when expected, you have to ask yourself whether you really want to be friends with them. It’s a habit that erodes trust and can make friends feel like they can’t depend on you, which isn’t cool at all.
Making Fun of Them
There’s nothing wrong with a bit of banter, but constantly making jokes at your friend’s expense can be hurtful. Humor should uplift, not belittle, especially in close friendships, so such behavior suggests a lack of respect and can damage their self-esteem.
Not Supporting Their Goals
It should go without saying that showing disinterest or discouragement towards your friend’s ambitions reveals spitefulness. It’s incredibly demotivating for your friend, suggesting to them that you don’t care about their success. Supporting each other’s goals is crucial for a healthy friendship.
Being Self-Centered
Always focusing on your own needs and problems without considering your friends shows selfishness and a general dislike for them. You’re making it clear that you prioritize yourself over friendship, which isn’t how authentic and caring friendships work at all.
Avoiding Difficult Conversations
Sometimes, it’s necessary to have difficult conversations with friends, so if you constantly avoid them to prevent conflict, this indicates a lack of commitment. It will inevitably lead to unresolved issues and resentment, so face up to your difficult conversations or accept the fact that you, despite your friend.
Sharing Their Secrets
Perhaps the biggest act of being a traitor is revealing your friend’s private information to others, which is a severe breach of trust. This behavior shows that you don’t respect their confidentiality, which no true friend would ever want for their relationship.
Being Overly Critical of Their Choices
Above all, if you constantly judge, mock, or criticize your friend’s life decisions harshly, they would be quite fair to walk away from you. It creates distance and resentment and suggests a lack of acceptance and understanding. So, respect your friends’ choices, or you really can’t call yourself a friend.