Growing up in an environment where love and attention were scarce can leave lasting effects on a person’s behavior and outlook on relationships. If you find yourself resonating with some of the traits discussed in this article, it could be a sign that you experienced a lack of emotional nurturing during your childhood.
You Open Up
If you never had anyone to talk to about your feelings while you were younger, you might find yourself making up for lost time when you get older. You often open up with your friends about how you feel and you wear your heart on your sleeve.
You Are Insecure
Figures from the New York Post show that “the average (person) feels insecure five times a day.” Feelings of insecurity as adults can stem from a lack of love in the household as children. An insecure person might always struggle with feelings of worthlessness due to a troubling past.
You Crave Your Partner’s Affection
Mutual affection is the key to a healthy relationship. But if you grew up in a household where no one showed you any love, you might find yourself craving even more love and affection from your partner when you get older. You need to hear and feel that they love you multiple times a day.
You Crave Your Children’s Affection
A person who was not shown a lot of affection when they were growing up will look for this as an adult. As a result, they will crave affection from their children. They have an almost insatiable desire to feel loved and needed by their children.
You Are Pessimistic
We all need love and affection to grow into optimistic adults. If your family home lacked love, then you might find yourself doubting your self-worth and wondering whether things will ever go right in life. This can make you a pessimistic or negative person who struggles to set goals.
You Have Low Self-Esteem
“Self-esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves. It’s based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves, which can feel difficult to change,” says Mind. If you were raised in a household where you were not shown affection, this would have made you feel bad about yourself and affected your self-esteem.
You’re Jealous
Do you feel jealous of others who have very good, loving relationships with their parents? Then, chances are, you grew up in a household where affection was not shown to you regularly. As a result, even as an adult, you feel envious of those with very affectionate parents.
You Stick By Your In-Laws
Relationships with in-laws are normally some of the most difficult family ties. But if your parents did not show you a lot of affection, you might look for that love from your in-laws. Instead of fighting with them, you view them as your second parents and try your best to get close to them.
You Have Older Friends
Do you have a lot of close friends who are roughly the same age as your parents? If you are very close to people of your parents’ age, then this might mean that you are looking for the affection you didn’t get from your parents from other people.
You Are Very Careful
If you grew up craving affection from the people who were supposed to love you the most, you will be very careful about who you allow to get close to you as an adult. If you suspect that someone in your life is not going to treat you right, you quickly steer away from them.
You Make Lots of Friends
The statistics from the Pew Research Center show that “a narrow majority of adults (53%) say they have between one and four close friends, while a significant share (38%) say they have five or more.” If you’re always trying to make friends, it may be because you want to make up for the lack of affection you felt growing up.
You Can’t Stay Single
Do you start dating again as soon as you break up with someone? If you struggle to be single, this might be because you crave affection, the affection you never received when you were a child. As a result, you have a constant need to feel loved.
You Are Depressed
A lack of love in childhood can make a person feel very sad and rejected while they’re young. These feelings can intensify as the person grows and can develop into depression. A person who never got the attention they needed might feel completely broken by the time they reach adulthood.
You Need Reassurance
Are you always seeking reassurance from others that the things you have done are okay? Then this could be a sign that no one gave you any praise when you were younger and as a result, you are looking for praise from others now as an adult.
You’re Not Empathetic
According to Greater Good Magazine, “‘Cognitive empathy,’ sometimes called ‘perspective taking,’ refers to our ability to identify and understand other people’s emotions.” If you find it hard to show empathy to others, it may be because you were never shown love or empathy as a child.
You Can’t Be Alone
Someone who did not receive a lot of affection when they were a child and was always left alone will try to make up for lost time in adulthood. If you struggle to be alone and are always looking for company, it may be because you always felt isolated as a child.
You Over-Parent
Do you over-parent? You might find yourself struggling to let your children have any freedom because you were always looking for a kind, loving, and interested parent when you were a child. You want to be everything that your parents weren’t to you. You strive to be really involved in your children’s lives.
You’re Always Trying
Are you always trying to be someone, achieve things, and make a name for yourself? There’s nothing wrong with that. But the constant desire to achieve might stem from a lack of love and attention from your parents when you were younger. You try to overachieve even now in an attempt to win their attention.