A bit of healthy competition can motivate us to improve and reach our goals. However, when competitiveness becomes excessive, it can lead to stress, strain relationships, and consume valuable time and energy. To help identify when the drive to win might be going too far, here is a list of signs that someone’s competitive nature may be overwhelming other aspects of their life.
Constant Comparisons
This tiring trait involves persistently measuring one’s success against that of others, even when it isn’t appropriate or relevant. Constant ‘standard setting’ isn’t about self-improvement; it’s about seeing themselves as superior to everyone else. This can lead to an unhealthy obsession with being the best and fewer successful friendships.
Can’t Share Credit
Very competitive people often want to take all the glory for group successes or great teamwork. CNBC says this unappealing trait makes other people feel diminished or underappreciated, straining relationships with colleagues and teammates and reducing overall morale. As a result, the competitive person can be ostracized and disliked by their peers.
Manipulative Tactics
If winning is the ultimate goal, then using underhand tactics to reach the top is par for the course. Competitive people may resort to manipulation or unethical behavior to gain the upper hand and increase or ensure their chances of winning. This includes damaging habits like spreading lies, undermining their colleagues, or taking credit unfairly.
Can’t Cope With Failure
A low tolerance for failure characterizes highly competitive individuals who often become frustrated, angry, or depressed if they don’t fulfill their high standard for personal success. United We Care claims it’s important to be magnanimous when losing and that healthy competition means accepting failure and focusing on improvement, not regret.
Relentless Perfectionism
Having high standards and wanting to be the best at everything often makes competitive individuals stressed and frustrated as they continually strive to obtain the impossible. Such unrealistic expectations can make the person perpetually dissatisfied and unable to take joy in ‘lesser’ personal successes (like coming in second place).
Excessive Self-Promotion
Inside Higher Ed reports that too much self-promotion can be a distasteful and counter-productive habit. Excessively lauding their own achievements and capabilities can make competitive individuals seem arrogant and boastful, alienating their peers while eroding trust in their assertions.
Hostility Toward Competitors
The aggressiveness of overly competitive individuals to accomplish their goals can make them hostile toward anything they see as an ‘obstacle’ to their success—including anyone they view as a competitor. This combative approach to professional and personal relationships can be very destructive and isolating.
Can’t Accept Criticism
No one is perfect, and accepting constructive criticism is one way we learn how to improve and grow. Yet highly competitive individuals struggle to accept anything other than the highest praise, often regarding criticism as an affront to their capabilities. This can lead to missed opportunities and paralyzing defensiveness.
Risk-Taking Behavior
A study in SSRN found that people take higher risks when facing greater competition. This is also true for overly competitive people, who deem the ‘reward’ of winning worth any cost and, therefore, any risk! This can lead to reckless behavior and impulsive decisions, as the lure of outperforming others overshadows any negative consequences.
Impatience
Being intensely focused on the ultimate prize (winning) can make some competitors impatient to succeed, even if that means producing work of inferior quality or using unsustainable methods. A desire for quick results can lead others to view their contributions as rushed and give them a reputation for ‘cutting corners.’
Obsession with Status
Competitive people desire to be seen as the best, so achieving and maintaining a certain status or receiving constant recognition is often a driving force behind their behavior. Such individuals crave respect and acknowledgment and like to ‘display’ their achievements for others to see—like having an expensive, flashy sports car, for example.
Disregard for Fair Play
Experts at Brainly say that healthy competition involves respecting the rules of play, whereas overly competitive individuals may disregard them and engage in cheating. They are more likely to ‘bend the rules’ for their own benefit or complain about an official decision that reduces their chance of winning. This can damage their reputation, integrity, and credibility.
Aggressive Goal-Setting
Overly competitive individuals approach life with a single-minded focus and are aggressive when pursuing their goals. ASU says such an intense desire to outperform others can lead to unethical behavior and strained relationships, as the individual’s focus on winning overshadows all else.
Overwhelming Dominance
The Washington Post writes that competitive people constantly strive to be the best at everything, so they naturally dominate group settings and often dismiss the contributions of others. This desire to ‘one up’ everyone can build resentment and stifle collaboration as the competitor fights to be the most correct, capable, and influential person in the group.
Difficulty Celebrating Others’ Success
No one ‘rains on your parade’ like an excessively competitive person because they struggle to take joy in the achievements of others, even if they’re not being compared to their own. Medium says that treating the achievements of others as a personal attack is a classic over-competitive trait. Such jealousy results in a hostile atmosphere and personal dislike.
Taking Winning Too Seriously
If winning is everything and losing is the ultimate disaster, games or competitions often become intense and joyless activities with one purpose only—to be the best! What’s up with everyone? claims, “They may use unfair strategies to win because they actually have low self-esteem, a lot of self-doubt, high aggression, anxiety, and potentially other negative feelings.”
Jealousy
Being envious of more successful individuals is a common emotional response for aggressive competitors. While it can help drive self-improvement, it can also be a powerful course of discontent, as they constantly crave the successes and associated ‘trophies’ of others. This can lead to bitterness, resentment, and mental exhaustion.
Poor Long-Term Relationships
Unsurprisingly, some individuals’ over-competitiveness can strain their personal and professional relationships. Traits like constant comparison, dominance, self-promotion, and obsessive self-improvement can be unappealing and create stressful environments that aren’t conducive to healthy, long-term relationships.
Neglecting Health
In their pursuit of success and recognition, very competitive individuals often neglect their personal well-being. This can manifest as overworking, inadequate rest, poor nutrition, or ignoring stress, all of which can have detrimental long-term health effects. Consequently, they are particularly susceptible to risks like sports injuries and burnout.