If you’re starting to feel like someone might be taking advantage of you, watch out – they might be a generally exploitative person. You might notice small signs in their behavior that make you question their true intentions; either way, here are 17 subtle behaviors that can help reveal whether someone is genuinely your friend or has ulterior motives.
They Don’t Compliment You
“Genuine compliments build relationships, improve communication, motivate people, and boost one’s self-esteem and self-confidence,” says PSU. Yes, a true friend or a good partner will compliment you when you do something well and when you achieve something. However, someone who takes advantage of you will never pay you a compliment, as they don’t care to raise your self-esteem.
They Don’t Include You
Someone who takes advantage of you will not include you in their future plans. When they talk about the things they want to do and how they want to do them, they leave you out, as if you weren’t part of the picture. They are using you right now and are ready to drop you in the future.
They Don’t Listen
A good friendship is based on a two-way conversation. Words Rated says that “45% of a person’s time awake is engaged in some kind of listening.” But someone who wants to take advantage of your kindness and listening ear will do all the talking and never listen to you.
They Don’t Thank You
U.S. News & World Report says, “English speakers express thanks (only) 14.5 percent of the time a request is successfully completed”, which is sad. However, exploitative people are even worse for this; we can all work on being more thankful, but if someone is taking advantage of you, they’ll never say thank you.
They Won’t Compromise
A good relationship involves yielding. Sometimes you get your way, and other times you don’t. Verywell Mind states that “compromise is an important skill in relationships. It can help you and your partner find the middle ground and resolve conflicts.” A person who is taking advantage of another, however, will never compromise.
They Don’t Ask Questions
Good conversation and communication stem from two-way interest. This means you must be interested in what the other person has to say and ask them questions, and they must do the same for you. If someone you know never asks for your opinion, they are probably taking advantage of your friendship.
They Talk Too Much
Words Rated also adds that “the average person speaks around 16,000 words in a day.” But someone who is taking advantage of your friendship will hog all of the conversation and will barely let you get a word in edgewise. They just want to talk and are not interested in what you have to say.
They Flirt
Do you suspect that the person you want to be with isn’t taking you seriously? A person who is taking advantage of you will flirt constantly without ever committing to their flirtatious ways by asking you out. They may even deny ever flirting if you call them out on it or express your feelings.
They Don’t Call You
Statistics from SellCell show that worldwide, “we make a huge 13.5 billion phone calls every day.” But someone who is taking advantage of you will not call you; you always have to call them. They will not text you unless you text them first, which isn’t how friendships should work.
They Don’t Express Themselves
Does someone you know let you do all the talking without ever expressing themselves? Then this person might be trying to get information from you without revealing anything about themselves. They want you to wear your heart on your sleeve but aren’t prepared to do the same.
They Deceive You
A person who takes advantage of you will deceive you. They might not tell you blatant lies, but they will tell you things that will make you arrive at the wrong conclusions. They will do nothing to correct your wrong thinking and will be happy that they have managed to pull the wool over your eyes.
They Take the Credit
Does someone you know and love take credit for the good things you do? Then this person is likely taking advantage of you. They sponge off of your goodness and make it look like their own. This kind of person is only interested in their reputation.
They Talk About You
A person who takes advantage of you might gossip about you. They might talk about you behind your back and reveal confidential information to others. Only a true friend will stand up for you and try to put an end to the gossip. They will tell you what’s going on and who is talking about you.
They Interrupt
Does your friend finish your sentences? Do they butt in while you are talking? Then the chances are that they are not really your friend at all and are not interested in what you have to say. If they are constantly interrupting you, it’s because they don’t respect you.
They Change the Subject
If someone you care about seems disengaged by the things you say, be careful. You might notice them changing the conversation quickly so that they can talk about something that interests them or deflect attention back to them. Sadly, such a person is not interested in you and is taking advantage of you.
They Want You to Change
Good relationships work when two people adapt to one another. But what if the person you are with expects you to change but doesn’t want to do anything to change themselves? Then this person might be taking advantage of you and want you to do all of the work in the relationship.
They Are Not Reliable
Someone who truly cares about you will be there through the good times and the bad. But what if your friend or partner disappears when times are tough? Then this person is taking advantage of you, as they clearly do not want to support you when you need them the most.