Most of us aspire to be in a happy, healthy relationship, but sadly, many relationships don’t meet that ideal. Worse still, recognizing when a relationship is not serving your well-being can be challenging. To help you out, here are 18 relationship deal-breakers that say it’s time to move on.
Unresolved Past Issues
Unresolved issues from the past can prevent a relationship from moving forward and achieving its full potential. Things like lingering feelings for an ex, unaddressed trauma from former relationships, and childhood trauma can creep into your relationship and cause a divide between you and your partner.
Frequent Arguments
Constant conflict drains the joy from a relationship and is usually a sign of deeper, unresolved issues. It’s okay to disagree with your partner. In fact, experts suggest that 1–2 times per week can be healthy. However, if it happens too much, then it is a problem.
Substance Abuse
Uncontrolled substance abuse compromises the safety and well-being of both partners. Substance abuse is a serious issue and should be treated as such. According to AddictionResource, about 20% of men report using substances before acts of violence.
Lack of Trust
Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship, and its absence can create an environment of suspicion and insecurity. If you see any signs of dishonesty, like straight-up lies or inconsistencies in stories, it may be time to walk away.
Poor Communication
Communication is key to resolving conflicts and building a deeper connection. Avoiding difficult conversations might prevent issues in the short term but will most likely lead to problems later.
Abuse
Abuse, in physical, emotional, or psychological form, compromises personal safety and dignity and shouldn’t be tolerated at all. Don’t try to justify your partner’s abusive behavior; it will only get worse. Seek help immediately if you feel unsafe. Don’t worry about judgment; the WHO reports that 1 in 3 women face abuse at least once in their lives.
Different Life Goals
If two people want different things in life, it can create a divide between them. This can lead to disagreements on major life decisions like where to live, when or if to have children, finances, and more.
Controlling Behavior
A partner exerting control over your life choices or daily actions is a red flag. Controlling behavior includes monitoring movements and communications, excluding you from others, and making major decisions without input.
Lack of Support
Support from a partner is necessary for personal growth and facing life’s challenges together. If your partner shows disinterest in your career or personal goals, it may mean they are simply not that interested in you. A good partner should always be there for you, or at the very least give you some encouragement.
Infidelity
Infidelity destroys the trust and respect needed for a healthy relationship. It is even worse if your partner is fond of repeated cheating. This includes both physical and emotional affairs, even if they don’t progress into something real.
Lack of Intimacy
While intimacy is not everything in a relationship, it is key to a healthy, functioning relationship. Lack of intimacy signifies a loss of connection or a lack of physical attraction between partners.
Financial Irresponsibility
Financial irresponsibility and mismanagement of funds can destroy a relationship, especially if they come from one side of the relationship. According to the Association of International Certified Professional Accountants, more than half of people mention money as a cause for concern in their relationships.
Disrespect
Respect is a non-negotiable aspect of a healthy relationship. Disrespect in the form of verbal insults or demeaning comments should not be tolerated by anyone for the sake of a relationship. Once you communicate your needs, your partner should do their best to meet them if they commit to being with you.
Lack of Mutual Respect
Mutual respect is the foundation of any strong relationship. When it’s missing, partners often feel undervalued and ignored. If you don’t feel like your partner shows you the same level of respect you show them, communicate, and if nothing changes, consider walking away from the situation.
Incompatibility
Incompatibility is a result of partners having differing values, beliefs, and interests, or when their personalities clash. This mismatch can lead to frustration and dissatisfaction for both parties in the relationship. Without common ground, partners may struggle to connect on a deeper level, leading to a sense of disconnection.
Emotional Unavailability
When someone is emotionally unavailable, they do not share their feelings, avoid deep talks, and do not want to commit to the relationship. This makes it hard for the relationship to become deeper and more meaningful. If one person feels alone and not supported, it can weaken the bond between them, making the relationship less strong and less likely to last.
Neglect
Neglect from your partner leaves you feeling unloved and undervalued. You may feel taken for granted when your partner shows no interest in you or the things you like. A relationship is an agreement to take care of each other, and if one can’t stick to the agreement, the relationship might not be worth pursuing.
Inflexibility
A relationship cannot thrive without flexibility. This is because life is full of challenges and changes that require adaptation and compromise. Unwillingness to change or grow is a sign of immaturity and will only destroy your relationship if it is not changed.