Being in a healthy relationship requires certain qualities, and not everyone naturally possesses them. If you’re wondering how to identify whether someone will be a compatible partner, it’s helpful to recognize the common traits of those who struggle with relationships. This article outlines some key characteristics that often indicate challenges in being a supportive and committed partner.
Greedy
Greedy people don’t know how to share. A person who won’t let you have the last slice of pizza or who always insists on splitting the bill is greedy. A person like this won’t put you first in a relationship since they’re always thinking about their own interests.
Bullying
Bullying isn’t just something that happens when we’re in school; it’s also very common for bullying to take place in relationships. Someone who bullies you and orders you to do whatever they want isn’t a good partner. Being with someone like this will cause you frustration.
Bad Listener
Statistics from the MOspace Institutional Repository show that “many of us spend 70 to 80 percent of our time in some form of communication. Of that time, we spend about 9 percent writing, 16 percent reading, 30 percent speaking, and 45 percent listening.” If your partner never listens to you, they might not be the right person for you.
Interrupter
We all hate it when people cut us off while we’re speaking. Does your partner do this to you while you’re speaking? People interrupt because they’re impatient and uninterested in what others have to say. They’re only concerned with their own thoughts and opinions.
Impatient
A person who is bad at relationships is often impatient. They don’t like to wait for anything, especially not you. They easily get angry, and they don’t know how to reason with others. They want everything done by their watch the way they like it.
Vocal
Someone who has to raise their voice to get their point across isn’t very good at relationships. They don’t know how to voice their concerns calmly, and can become annoyed quickly. This kind of person isn’t interested in what you say and only wants to drown your voice out.
Vindictive
Do you know someone who’s always trying to get back at others? They don’t know how to let things go, even when they’re minor offenses that others would just overlook. This kind of person is always looking for revenge. Vindictive people don’t make good partners.
Selfish
A selfish person is always thinking of themselves. They don’t know how to put others first. They want to get the best out of life and aren’t concerned if they inconvenience others along the way. Selfish people never make good partners because they don’t care about their partner.
Unforgiving
Forgiveness is really important in a relationship. “Forgiveness encourages compassion. You are able to relate to others as part of the human experience. You feel for others as you do for yourself,” says Psychology Today. If your partner holds grudges instead of forgiving you, they’re not good relationship material.
Lazy
People who are lazy in general are also lazy when it comes to relationships. They don’t want to put any effort into the relationship and expect it to thrive on its own. They want you to do all the calling and organizing so that you can spend time together.
Self-Absorbed
We all know people who are self-absorbed. They’re only interested in their own achievements and simply aren’t interested in talking about anyone else but themselves. This kind of person won’t thrive in a relationship because they can’t consistently be interested in their partner, and their partner will get tired of their selfishness.
Rude
Rude people are never good at relationships. They disrespect you and aren’t concerned about your feelings. This kind of person says whatever they want to your family and friends, even if it makes you look bad, and doesn’t care about the impression they’re giving others.
Violent
Figures from the National Domestic Violence Hotline show that “43% of dating college women report experiencing violent and abusive dating behaviors, including physical, sexual, digital, verbal, or other controlling abuse.” A person who is violent in nature is likely to display abusive behaviors in a relationship.
Impulsive
A person who is bad at relationships is generally impulsive. They don’t think about things before they make a decision. They are quick to start a relationship without considering whether it will work or not. They’re then quick to end the relationship at the first hurdle.
Uncompromising
“Compromise in a relationship is important because it helps you understand your partner’s point of view. This increases your empathy,” says Marriage.com. A person who never compromises and always wants to have everything their way doesn’t make a good partner. Relationships are about give and take.
Argumentative
Argumentative people are bad at relationships. They don’t know how to converse when things aren’t going their way. They only know how to shout. It’s very difficult to reason with a person like this, as they’re only interested in making their voice heard.
Temperamental
Temperamental people get annoyed about everything. It doesn’t take a lot to set them off. These people are used to having their own way, and when things are a little bit uncomfortable, they get in a huff about it. This kind of person is moody and difficult to be in a relationship with.
Manipulative
Someone who manipulates others doesn’t make a good partner. This kind of person will try to bully you into doing whatever they want to do. They will belittle you and make you feel inadequate. Make sure you stay away from manipulative people when starting a new relationship.
Untrustworthy
A person who is untrustworthy is someone who always hides things from you or tells you things that aren’t true. They don’t like to tell the whole story, and they’re often reluctant to tell you where they are or who they’re with.