It’s not just about looking sharp or saying the right thing if you want to attract a woman—it’s also about avoiding behaviours that can instantly turn someone off. Nevertheless, it can be difficult to know what to avoid, and even though every woman is different, we’ve listed 18 traits that you should most definitely avoid all round if you want to make a better impression.
Don’t Be Gross
Let’s face it, personal hygiene is non-negotiable, so neglecting basics like daily showers, wearing clean clothes, or brushing your teeth regularly suggests you don’t respect yourself or the people around you. You don’t need to be obsessed with grooming or smell like you’ve walked out of a fragrance ad, but showing you’ve put in a bit of effort goes a long way.
Tone Down the Ego
Confidence is attractive, sure, but there’s a fine line between believing in yourself and acting like the centre of the universe. When you’re constantly talking yourself up or trying to prove how great you are, it can feel less like confidence and more like insecurity wrapped in a loud package.
Don’t Be Clingy
Everyone likes to feel wanted, but there’s a difference between showing interest and coming across as overly needy, so constantly texting or fishing for compliments can feel suffocating. Women are often drawn to men who are independent, who have their own lives, hobbies, and goals, while being clingy can make it seem like you don’t trust her—or yourself.
Be Nice to People Who Serve You
It’s often said that the way you treat people who can’t do anything for you reveals your true character, and this couldn’t be truer in dating. If you’re rude to a waiter, snap at a barista, or treat any service worker poorly, it can send a loud signal that you lack empathy, and women notice these things because they reflect how you might treat her.
Stop Moaning All the Time
We all have bad days, but if you’re the kind of person who always finds something to moan about—whether it’s the weather, your job, or the cost of a pint—it can quickly become draining. Negativity is contagious, and it can make the time spent with you feel heavy rather than enjoyable.
Get Your Act Together
Disorganisation might seem harmless at first, but it often signals a deeper lack of reliability if you’re turning up late to dates or forgetting plans. You should show that you can manage your life with some structure, because a woman often appreciates a man who is dependable, especially when it matters most.
Leave Your Ex in the Past
Mentioning your ex occasionally is normal, but if you keep bringing her up it’s a huge red flag—and an even worse one if you’re only bringing her up to criticise her. It can make the person you’re dating feel like you’re still emotionally tied to your past, and no one wants to compete with someone’s history.
Don’t Turn Everything Into a Competition
Whether you’re bragging about how much you earn, showing off your gym stats, or trying to dominate a friendly game of darts at the pub, it can feel like you’re desperate to prove yourself. Women appreciate confidence that’s quiet and self-assured, not loud and overbearing, turning everything into a competition.
Show Some Drive
You don’t have to be chasing a six-figure salary or aiming to become CEO to be ambitious, as simply having goals and direction is important. A man without any drive can come across as stagnant, and women often look for a partner who’s passionate about something and one who cares about bettering themselves.
Learn How to Talk (and Listen)
Being a poor communicator can lead to endless misunderstandings and frustrations, so if you’re someone who avoids serious conversations, struggles to express your feelings, or doesn’t listen actively, it can create a barrier. Open, honest dialogue is always valued, so learn to share your thoughts and genuinely listen to hers.
Don’t Be Tight With Money
If you constantly avoid paying your share or refuse to treat her to a small gesture like coffee or dessert, it might seem like you don’t value her or the experience you’re sharing, and while being mindful of money is fine, being downright stingy can send the wrong message. You should want to invest in the relationship—not just financially, but with your time and effort as well.
Get Off Your Phone
Women want to feel like they’re the centre of your attention during your time together, not competing with your online life, so if you’re glued to your phone every few minutes, constantly posting updates or scrolling through Instagram, it can make you seem disconnected. Social media is fine in moderation, but knowing when to put the phone down and engage with her fully shows respect.
Grow Up Emotionally
Emotional immaturity can show up in many ways, such as avoiding serious conversations or lashing out during disagreements. A man who can handle their emotions with grace and composure will be more valued, especially one who can admit when they’re wrong and work through issues calmly.
Look After Yourself
You don’t need to be a fitness fanatic, but ignoring your physical health entirely can come across as a lack of self-care. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and even small things like stretching or getting enough sleep reflect a level of discipline and care that’s hard to ignore, and a loving partner will want you to take care of yourself for the good of your own health.
Don’t Make It All About You
When every conversation or decision revolves around you, it can make the other person feel invisible, when instead, a woman wants to feel seen and valued. That means showing genuine interest in their thoughts, feelings, and experiences; relationships, after all, are a two-way street.
Keep the Jokes Classy
Humour is a great way to connect, but there’s a big difference between being funny and being offensive thanks to crude or inappropriate jokes that can make someone feel uncomfortable. Women appreciate men who can read the room and know when to use wit or charm instead of relying on shock value.
Stop Trying So Hard
It’s understandable why you want to impress, yet trying too hard can easily backfire because it comes across as inauthentic, like exaggerating your achievements or pretending to be someone you’re not. It can also make you seem insecure, which can be a huge turn-off; women are much more drawn to authenticity than flashy displays of wealth or power.
Respect Her Boundaries
One final piece of advice is all about respecting someone’s boundaries, which is fundamental to building a relationship. With this in mind, pushing for personal details or moving too fast physically, for example, can make someone feel uneasy when women just want to feel safe and respected.