It’s only natural to want to feel completely ready before taking the plunge; after all, marriage is one of the biggest commitments you’re going to make, which is why it helps to have spent some time figuring out who you are as an individual. Before saying “I do,” make sure you’ve experienced these 18 important life lessons.
Travel Alone
Taking a solo trip is about experiencing freedom on your terms, because when you’re travelling alone, you get to make all the decisions—where to go, what to eat, how to spend your days—and there’s something empowering about that. It’s also a great way to prove to yourself that you can handle the unexpected.
Learn to Cook at Least One Great Dish
No, this isn’t about being able to cook for your spouse, because cooking is about so much more than just getting dinner on the table. Being able to cook a delicious meal brings a sense of accomplishment—plus, sharing a homemade meal is a gesture of care that will serve you well in any relationship.
Handle Your Own Finances
Dealing with debts, building an emergency fund, and planning for the future are all steps that give you confidence in your ability to manage your life. When you enter a marriage with a clear understanding of your financial position, it also makes those tricky money conversations with your partner a lot easier.
Live on Your Own
There’s a unique sense of accomplishment that comes from living on your own, even if it’s just for a short while, as having your own place means being solely responsible for everything. You can then learn what you like and how you function best, without needing to factor anyone else into the equation.
Set and Achieve a Big Goal
There’s nothing quite like the pride you feel when you set a big goal and see it through to the end, while the journey itself teaches you discipline and patience—traits you’ll most likely need in a marriage. You’ll also learn how to handle setbacks and push through moments when giving up feels like the easier option.
Make Peace with Your Past
We all carry pieces of our past with us, and while that’s completely normal, unresolved baggage can creep into your relationships, therefore before getting married, it’s worth taking the time to work through any lingering issues. This could mean seeking therapy, writing your thoughts down, or even having an honest conversation with someone from your past.
Learn How to Argue Fairly
Arguments happen in every relationship, but how you approach them can make all the difference. Learning to argue fairly means staying calm, listening to the other person’s perspective, and expressing your feelings without resorting to blame or hurtful words.
Develop a Hobby You Love
Having a hobby that’s entirely yours is one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself, and it’s also an important reminder that you’re an individual with passions and interests outside your relationship. When life gets stressful, hobbies can provide a sense of balance and calm—and they can even become an opportunity to meet like-minded people.
Spend Time with Kids
Whether it’s through babysitting, volunteering, or helping out friends or family, spending time with children can give you a glimpse into the realities of parenting, if that’s what you’re planning for your own marriage. Kids have a way of being both incredibly rewarding and absolutely exhausting, often at the same time, so interacting with them can teach you patience.
Build a Strong Social Circle
Marriage is a wonderful partnership, but no single person can meet all your emotional and social needs, and that’s why having a solid network of friends and family is so important. These are the people who will celebrate your victories, support you during tough times, and give you perspectives that your partner might not.
Know Your Non-Negotiables
Before you merge your life with someone else’s, it’s essential to know where you stand on the big things, not just the casual preferences that brought you together in the first place—they’re the core values that shape your life. This is like whether you want children, how you view religion, or where you envision settling down.
Travel with Your Partner
Taking a trip with your partner can feel like a crash course in teamwork, because you’ll discover how you both handle stress, deal with unexpected situations, and make decisions together, including the relaxing choice of where to eat or the more problematic missed train connection. Travel strips away the comfort of routine and lets you see each other in a completely new light.
Learn to Say ‘No’
Saying “no” can feel awkward in any situation, but especially in a marriage; yet it’s a skill that becomes invaluable in both life and love. Being able to set boundaries is crucial in respecting your own limits and values, therefore practising this skill before marriage ensures you don’t lose yourself in the relationship or overcommit out of guilt.
Do Something That Scares You
Maybe marriage itself scares you, but you should do something else to face your fears that isn’t related to the relationship. Facing your fears head-on is one of the most transformative things you can do for yourself, as challenging yourself to step outside your comfort zone results in the realisation that fear doesn’t have to control you.
Spend Time Single
Being single is when you get to focus entirely on yourself without compromise, and allows you to explore what you truly want out of life and a partner. It’s also an opportunity to learn how to be happy in your own company, because when you enter marriage knowing you’re complete on your own, your relationship becomes a choice rather than a necessity.
Learn to Communicate Openly
If you take the time to practise communication skills before marriage, whether in friendships, at work, or with family, it ensures you’ll be better equipped to handle the conversations that will inevitably come up in your relationship. And you’ll be better prepared to work through any challenges life throws your way.
Experience Failure
Often where the biggest life lessons are learned is in failure, even if it might sting in the moment, and these failures also show you that setbacks aren’t the end of the road—they’re opportunities to try again. When you’ve faced failure and come out the other side, you develop a deeper understanding of yourself—which is helpful for marriage.
Spend a Day Doing Absolutely Nothing
We know that the idea of doing nothing can feel indulgent, but it’s an important skill to master, as many people struggle with it. Taking a full day to relax, without any plans or obligations, lets you reset your mind and body, and appreciate stillness.