For generations, societal expectations have shaped how relationships can go, and particularly so for women, thanks to outdated gender norms or potential power imbalances in relationships.
With the expectation of men being the breadwinner and women being the stay at home partners fast becoming obsolete, here are some relationship rules that modern women can definitely throw out the window.
A Woman Must Wait for a Man to Make the First Move
There’s a lingering myth that women should sit back and wait for men to make the first move in dating, but there’s no reason to hold back if you’re interested in someone. Taking the initiative can be empowering and often refreshing for the person on the receiving end, like being the one to send that first message on a dating app.
Marriage Is the Ultimate Goal
Marriage is no longer the universal marker of a successful relationship; instead, fulfillment comes in many forms, and women are free to define that for themselves. For far too long, women have been taught to see marriage as the pinnacle of success in their romantic lives, yet not everyone dreams of walking down the aisle, and that’s perfectly fine.
Women Shouldn’t Pay for Dates
There’s nothing wrong with splitting the bill or even picking up the tab when you’re out with someone. The idea that men must always pay for everything is a relic of a time when women were financially dependent on their partners, whereas modern relationships are about partnership and equality—and sharing expenses is just one way to demonstrate that.
Settling Down Means Having Children
The pressure to become a mother is waning as more women recognise that their worth isn’t tied to their ability to bear children, because a fulfilling relationship can be built on shared values and goals, whether children are a part of that or not.
The idea of starting a family is no longer synonymous with settling down, even though some will still dream of having children, of course.
Always Let Him Lead
Whether it’s deciding where to go for dinner, managing finances, or making big life decisions, relationships work best when both partners contribute equally. A female partner is just as capable of taking charge, expressing her opinions, and steering the direction of their shared lives.
A Partner Must Earn More Money
The days of tying a partner’s worth to their income are behind us, making room for deeper, more meaningful connections, so let’s say goodbye to the stereotype that a man should always be the primary earner.
What truly matters is how couples work together to support each other’s goals, no matter who earns more or who earns less.
Never Be the First to Say “I Love You”
There’s something magical about expressing how you feel, and it shouldn’t be dictated by who says it first, because waiting for your partner to declare their love can lead to unnecessary anxiety and hesitation. If you feel it, say it—relationships flourish when honesty is at their core, and there’s nothing wrong with either partner taking that leap.
Women Should Always Be “Put Together”
Always looking polished and presentable is an expectation women have had to face since the dawn of time, and it’s one that’s been relevant even in their most intimate relationships. The problem is, it’s unrealistic and exhausting, as real love doesn’t hinge on perfectly styled hair or a full face of makeup, it’s about accepting each other exactly as you are.
A Relationship Is Incomplete Without a Ring
For some, an engagement ring symbolises commitment and love, but it’s far from the only way to show devotion, as many couples today choose to focus on their bond rather than following traditional milestones. Even if you’re simply enjoying each other’s company, your relationship’s worth isn’t defined by jewellery.
Jealousy Proves He Cares
A healthy relationship is built on trust, not possessiveness, and feeling secure in a partnership means you can celebrate each other’s independence without fear or control. Jealousy often stems from insecurity, and open communication about any issues is far more valuable than possessive behaviours.
Women Should Be Submissive in the Bedroom
Why is it that women are made to believe that they should take a backseat in the bedroom, leaving all the decisions to their partners? True intimacy is about collaboration and agreement on what both partners want, and furthermore, a woman deserves to have her voice heard when it comes to her own desires, and especially her own boundaries.
Long-Distance Relationships Don’t Work
Love isn’t limited by geography because it’s more about the connection, and while it’s true that long-distance relationships have their challenges, they can absolutely succeed with the right mindset and effort. Advances in technology make it easier than ever to stay connected thanks to video calls and instant messaging.
Women Should Change Their Last Name After Marriage
Tradition often dictated that women take their husband’s surname, but many now choose to keep their own or find creative alternatives like a double-barrelled name or sticking with their maiden name. The decision is deeply personal, but it’s one that’s about what feels right for you—not what others expect.
Don’t Be “Too” Independent
If you want to bring your whole, authentic self to the relationship, enriching it in the process, then you can never be “too independent”, as all it means is celebrating your individuality.
Independence doesn’t mean you’re less committed, it means strong partnerships encourage each person to maintain their own friendships and passions.
Women Should Do All the Emotional Labour
It’s always the woman who has to remember the anniversary or keep the peace during arguments, right? But a healthy relationship is a partnership, and the responsibility for nurturing it should be shared equally, and not always on the woman’s shoulder. This is why open conversations about needs and expectations can help redistribute the emotional load.
Avoid Talking About Politics or Controversial Topics
The old advice to avoid controversial topics often leads to shallow connections. Discussing politics, social issues, or differing opinions can deepen your understanding of one another, and while it’s important to approach such conversations with care, avoiding them entirely can stop your relationship growing fully as it should.
Love Means Never Needing Alone Time
Time apart allows you to pursue individual interests and return to the relationship with fresh energy, therefore the idea that love requires constant togetherness is unrealistic, not to mention suffocating. A healthy couple needs balance, where both individuals have the space they need while cherishing the moments they share at the same time.
Stay in a Relationship No Matter What
Lastly, there’s a belief that women should endure relationships out of obligation or societal pressure; however, this is damaging. Knowing when to walk away is an act of strength, not failure, and you deserve a relationship built on happiness. Staying in one that lacks this isn’t doing anyone any good.