Relationships can be challenging to work through, but some behaviors should never be ignored. To guide you, we’ve compiled a list of 18 crucial things to pay attention to in a relationship. If you notice any of these red flags, it’s essential to focus on your emotional well-being.
Gaslighting
According to Verywell Mind, gaslighting is a type of manipulation where the “abuser misleads the target, creating a false narrative and making them question their judgments and reality.” This may involve invalidating your feelings or denying past events or conversations you remember.
Lack of Boundaries
Respecting each other’s personal boundaries allows you both to keep your sense of self while building mutual trust. This should include respecting your partner’s privacy by not sharing their intimate details or secrets with others, as well as giving them the personal space they need.
Lack of Communication
Communication is an essential part of any healthy relationship, both from a practical and emotional perspective. Meaningful conversations allow you to build trustworthiness and a deeper connection, and without them, you may develop a feeling of disconnect from your partner. Keeping secrets can also cause problems, and it’s likely to reduce the intimacy you have together.
Disrespect
Disrespectful behavior may include verbal abuse such as name-calling or demeaning language, ignoring your personal boundaries and personal space, or purposeful humiliation when you’re in public. According to Marriage.com, “Mutual respect is essential, as respecting someone who doesn’t respect you will only negatively impact your self-esteem and mental health.”
Dishonesty
Lying or hiding information from one another can reduce the level of trust you have and eventually lead to resentment in your relationship. Cheating is one example of this, and in this case, the lies can not only cause distrust but also serious emotional pain for the partner who feels they’ve been betrayed.
Control
According to Psych Central, “43 million women and 38 million men have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner, which includes controlling behaviors.” Control in a relationship can be displayed in a number of different ways, including by monitoring your messages or whereabouts or isolating you from family and friends.
Abuse
Abuse of any kind is unacceptable. There could be physical violence such as hitting or pushing, or there could be manipulation such as gaslighting or threats, both of which can have a big impact on the victim. Another form of abuse is sexual coercion, where the victim may feel pressured into sexual activities.
Lack of Support
A supportive partner will encourage you to meet your personal goals and be there for you emotionally during difficult times. Psychology Today says mutual support is key: “positive relationships require openness to receiving support and being able to provide it to the other person.”
Neglect
Within a partnership, it’s important to support each other through tough times, as neglecting your partner’s emotional or physical needs can leave them feeling unimportant or resentful towards you. It’s also crucial to show affection and appreciation for each other in order to build an emotional connection.
Constant Criticism
Pointing out flaws or criticizing small mistakes can begin to chip away at your partner’s self-esteem and level of confidence. Over time, it can leave the partner feeling like they’re inadequate or insecure, meaning there is less mutual respect in the relationship.
Controlling Finances
In a partnership, it’s important to work together to reach financial goals, but if one person starts to restrict spending or take over, it becomes financial abuse. They may control your access to money or limit your financial independence, making you dependent on them.
Emotional Unavailability
If your partner avoids meaningful emotional connections between you or frequently shuts down during difficult conversations, it can be difficult to maintain intimacy as you’re less able to communicate effectively. They may also show emotional unavailability by being reluctant to share their feelings with you.
Inequality
Prioritizing equality when it comes to decision-making will encourage mutual respect in a relationship, as power imbalances can lead to resentment and conflict. It’s also important to fairly distribute responsibilities to create a sense of teamwork rather than leaving one person feeling that they’re being used.
Disregard for Consent
Being in a committed relationship doesn’t mean that you don’t need consent when it comes to sexual activities. No partner should ever be made to feel that they’re being pushed into something they don’t want to do, as this can damage the trust between you as well as leave them feeling unsafe.
Lack of Trust
Accusations or being made to feel like you’re under suspicion in your partnership can leave you feeling tense and insecure. A partner who lacks trust might invade your privacy by checking through your messages and social media history, or they might make accusations without any evidence.
Isolation
Isolating you from your support network is a type of manipulation that is used to control you and leave you dependent on them. They may begin to talk negatively about your family or friends or make you feel guilty when you make plans with other people. This can lead to loneliness and impact your independence.
Lack of Independence
One of the best parts of a healthy relationship is the support you offer one another, both in hard times and when it comes to reaching personal goals. If a partner discourages this, it can feel like you’re losing your independence, and you may start to rely on them for fulfillment, causing an emotional imbalance.
Lack of Empathy
Empathetic partners should take the time to understand and validate your feelings, as dismissing them can create resentment between you. It’s also important to empathize with your partner during difficult times by providing support and comfort so they don’t feel isolated in their struggles.