Toxic behaviours have a sneaky way of creeping into your life, often disguised as normal habits, but left unchecked, they can drain your energy and damage your self-worth. It’s not always easy to call them out, or even recognise them, especially when they come from someone you care about. Here’s your guide for the toxic behaviours never to tolerate.
Endless Put-Downs
There’s a big difference between helpful feedback and relentless criticism, so when someone continuously finds fault in everything you do—your work, your choices, even the way you speak—it’s not about helping you improve. It’s about controlling you and chipping away at your confidence.
Messing With the Truth
Lies are harmful enough, but when someone uses dishonesty to manipulate you, it’s a whole new level of toxicity, and this behaviour is designed to control you. It’s exhausting to work through relationships with someone who can’t be truthful because you lose trust, and without honesty as the foundation, it falls apart.
Pulling the Guilt Card
Ever been made to feel guilty for saying no, or had your emotions twisted until you felt like the bad guy? That’s emotional blackmail, and it’s a tactic used to control you by playing on your feelings; maybe it’s someone withholding affection to punish you or constantly bringing up your past mistakes to manipulate you into doing what they want.
Sneaky Jabs and Silent Treatment
Dealing with passive-aggressive people can feel like walking through a minefield because instead of talking about problems directly, they might give you the silent treatment, make sarcastic comments, or do things to sabotage you in subtle ways. It’s frustrating, draining, and completely unproductive.
Pushing Past Your Boundaries
Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out; they’re about protecting yourself and anyone who can’t respect that has no place in your circle. Setting boundaries is one of the most important things you can do for your well-being, however, when someone ignores your boundaries, no matter what those boundaries are, they’re showing a complete lack of respect.
Jealousy That Feels Like Control
Whether it’s a friend who doesn’t like you hanging out with others or a partner who constantly checks your phone, this isn’t love or care—it’s insecurity dressed up as concern. Healthy relationships allow you to be your own person, with trust at their core, and you shouldn’t have to explain every move you make just to keep someone else comfortable.
Always Playing the Victim
We all face tough times, but some people take it to another level by constantly casting themselves as the victim, meaning they’ll shift blame, avoid responsibility, and make every situation about their suffering, regardless of the facts. This behaviour is a drain on your emotional resources, as you’re left feeling obligated to comfort or fix them.
A Cloud of Negativity
You should always choose relationships that lift you up, not ones that drag you down, and while everyone has bad days, spending time with someone who’s relentlessly negative can feel like carrying a lead weight. Negativity is contagious, and being around it too often can leave you feeling at your worst.
Too Much Gossip
Gossip often comes from a place of insecurity or malice, and all it does is create mistrust, even if it comes across as harmless chit-chat. When someone spends all their time talking about others, it’s worth pausing to think: if they’re willing to spill everyone else’s secrets, are they doing the same with yours?
Shrugging Off Your Wins
Over time, behaviour that downplays your successes can make you doubt your accomplishments or feel like you need to hide your wins to keep the peace. Your achievements deserve to be celebrated, and you deserve people who celebrate them with you instead of jokes about your promotion not being “that big of a deal”.
Flying Off the Handle
Anger is a natural emotion, but when it’s explosive or unpredictable, it becomes dangerous. Whether it’s yelling, throwing things, or emotional outbursts, this behaviour creates an environment of fear, and you shouldn’t have to tiptoe around someone to avoid setting them off.
Poking Into Your Private Life
You shouldn’t have to defend your right to personal space, but unfortunately, with toxic people, you might have to if they’re snooping through your phone or showing up uninvited. Invading your privacy is a blatant lack of respect, and it’s even worse when they try to justify it by saying they “just care” or “had a feeling.”
Making You Feel Bad About Your Choices
Advice and constructive feedback can be helpful, but shaming is about control, not support, while your life is your own; no one has the right to make you feel small for living it the way you choose. This habit r is designed to undermine your confidence and make you second-guess yourself.
Can’t Decide Who They Are
When someone’s actions don’t match their words, or they blow hot and cold unpredictably, it can be that one moment they’re supportive, and the next they’re distant without explanation. This inconsistency keeps you guessing, often leading you to work harder for their approval, which isn’t healthy.
Blame Shifting
Accountability is key to any relationship, and you shouldn’t have to carry the weight of someone else’s denial. We all make mistakes, but someone who always blames others for their problems is refusing to grow as if they’re pointing fingers at colleagues, family, or even you, and this only shifts responsibility away from themselves.
Brushing Off Your Feelings
Have you had your feelings brushed off or been told to “stop overreacting”? This means this person is invalidating your experience instead of being willing to listen. Even if the other person doesn’t fully understand your perspective, your emotions matter, and anyone who trivialises them isn’t respecting you.
Taking Advantage of Kindness and Never Giving Back
Kindness is a strength, but some people see it as an opportunity to take advantage by asking for favours, expecting you to always be available, and rarely, if ever, returning the gesture. It can be easy to give and give, hoping they’ll eventually appreciate it, but in reality, it will likely get worse over time.